Why You Should Befriend Your Anxiety

Anxiety has become your Achilles heel and the last thing you want to do is do anything that seems like any form of embracing or accepting it. 

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I hear you, anxiety can be so overpowering in our bodies and in our heads that we want to do almost anything to get out of it, and fast.  

You’ve tried to stuff it into the depths of your mind and pretend that you are cool as a cucumber, but the more you pretend to be okay, the more it seems like your anxiety takes over everything.

Befriending our lived experiences can be a life-changing experience because as the saying goes “we cannot tame what we cannot name”.  Anxiety requires us to not just name it but to better understand what is happening for us to take steps to help ourselves navigate it with more ease. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you are facing (or wanting to run from) anxiety.

Anxiety Builds With Avoidance

When I was early in my career and working at an eating disorder clinic, the hallmark statement was “the only thing to avoid is avoiding”, which at first made me laugh because it seemed so obvious.  But as I thought about it, and watched people struggle, the more I realized that sometimes the instinct we feel without anxiety is to either run from it or shut it all down.  After all, when we are feeling something in our bodies or our minds or racing, the last thing we want to do is to sit in those sensations, feelings, and thoughts. 

In fact, the mere thought of that sounds overwhelming, daunting, and potentially miserable.  The idea here isn’t to just sit in the things that are hard and get stuck in them.  The idea is to decrease how we avoid situations or sensations that bring up discomfort.  If we are in a pattern of shutting down or running away from what is hard, we are teaching our brains that we cannot handle what is happening.  And over time, this will actually increase our levels of anxiety because our brain is learning that the best way to cope is to avoid, which does give short-term relief, AND almost always makes the situation get bigger and more overwhelming to approach later on.

Anxiety Is Trying to Be a Signal & Can Serve a Purpose

If we think of our emotions as signals that are trying to guide us then it can feel less overwhelming to consider looking at what the underlying signal may be.  If you are feeling anxious about a presentation to your boss or college class, it is likely that your anxiety is simply trying to communicate that what you are about to do is important and that you care deeply about doing well. This signal can often allow us to carve out the necessary time to do a presentation that will be effective and that we can feel good about.  

Anxiety can also be a signal that what we are about to do may be out of our comfort zone and that we want to feel safe or be treated with kindness. 

When presenting to a boss or in front of our peers, it is normal and natural to want to be viewed in a positive manner, and the fear of not doing well or fear of being judged also surfaces in our anxiety.  Social connection is vital to our emotional well-being, so from an evolutionary standpoint, we need to stay connected to our groups and when our brain fears this may be up for debate, we can often feel anxious about the future or the outcomes. 

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Anxiety Is a State of Our Biology or Our Patterns

We all have biological needs and responses to the world around us and the world within us.  When we are tired or overtired- it is our brain's job to be on high alert for any potential threats to our well-being.  It knows we are struggling so it ramps up its efforts to try to see threats or perceived threats even in the absence of actual threats. 

Some brains & nervous systems are built more sensitively than others or have experienced circumstances that reinforce their need to be hypervigilant to perceived or actual threats.  I think most can relate that it is easier to get scared at night when the lights are out than when it’s the middle of the day.  Our bodies can often get stuck in a state of high alert and may send a series of false alerts that make functioning more difficult. Ultimately, we want to explore what the messaging is saying and see if it is falsely linked to something that may be actually safe.   

Anxiety Can Change When We Can Befriend It

To not be stuck in anxiety we need to befriend it. The more we can understand what is happening the easier it will be to know how to get it to slow down.  For example, when I get overtired, I am more likely to overthink or worry about something that would not typically bother me.  When I notice this happening, I try to see what my core fear is at that moment.  Is my brain running in circles because it is trying to solve a problem, and if so what problem is it trying to solve?  Is the problem mine to actually solve or are there aspects that are out of my control?  Is my brain hoping that if it problem is solved well enough, I will feel ”in control “ and bypass uncertainty? 

Our brains really love certainty and predictability, so it makes sense that it wants me to move towards a potential solution to gain more certainty, even when that is not possible. When I can remind myself that I am capable of handling uncertainty, and step into self-soothing, my biology will slow down.  When my biology slows down, my thinking becomes less rigid, less catastrophic, and more grounded.  

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Anxiety can often feel like a frenemy, a love-hate sort of relationship. 

Letting go of anxiety can feel scary and in some cases may not be realistic or appropriate.  However, getting our anxiety to only alert us when there is an actual threat we need to attend to is the goal.  And knowing how to respond to it when it is over-firing or on high alert is pivotal to finding peace and having more ease. 

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah

If you feel your anxiety is ruining your peace or that you do not have the tools you need to befriend or approach it, please reach out and get the tools and support you need.  Our team of caring therapists are happy to offer support in Provo, Salt Lake City, and across the state. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

  1. Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call

  2. Meet with a caring therapist

  3. Start developing a better relationship with your anxiety!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

Anxiety treatment isn’t the only service offered with the team at Inside Wellness. This is why our team is happy to offer support with a variety of other services including eating disorders, body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

5 Myths or Misconceptions About Eating Disorders

As an eating disorder therapist in Utah, I have heard many opinions, thoughts, and beliefs about what people think eating disorders are and are not, and are filled with many many misconceptions. 

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Most of the myths and misconceptions are from stereotypes in the media or from comments made from well-intended, but undereducated beliefs of others.  I say this because I was one of those ill-informed individuals who didn’t know what I didn’t know.  And then 5 years into my career, I had the good fortune of being hired to work at an eating disorder treatment center in Orem, UT and I began to see through the myths I had learned. I’m sharing these because for people to get the help they need, we all need to understand the truths about eating disorders. 

An Eating Disorder Is Not That Serious

When people find out that I am an eating disorder & anxiety therapist, they often make a joke about food or their bodies.  It repeatedly reminds me that as a culture, eating disorders are widely misunderstood, minimized, and hard for people to know how to talk about them. This makes sense because it’s hard to talk about big topics when we don’t understand the complexity or basic truths.  The truth about eating disorders is that they are more prevalent and more serious than most people think.  

At a minimum, someone who has an eating disorder is in a constant battle with themselves and their bodies. 

They are always hearing a critical voice in their head that they should or shouldn’t do x, y, and z with food & exercise.  At worst, they will suffer significant physical complications in the here and now, even if they seem to be engaging in life normally.  I think we can all agree that we lose far too many people to drugs and suicide, but most are shocked to learn that eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of all mental health conditions only preceded by opioid abuse. And if this is new information to you, you are not alone.  We do not talk about eating disorders enough or with adequate understanding to have this data point as commonplace knowledge, sobering as it may be.   

Eating Disorders Have “A Look”

This is probably the most common misconception that I have heard over the years.  In general, we tend to categorize all things through the lens of our experiences or something we learned one time.  So if you learned that eating disorders only apply to significantly underweight individuals, you are not alone.  I was also surprised when I learned that even in an inpatient treatment facility, the vast majority of my clients did not fit into the false paradigm. Most of my clients “looked normal” as people often say.  And yet these individuals were severely compromised both physically and emotionally due to their eating disorders.

We see this in other areas of mental health as well. 

Most people think that depression is when someone is unable to get out of bed or shower.  And while this certainly can be a symptom of depression, it can also be true that lots of people have significant depression that attend school or work. In both cases, these stereotypes or lack of a broader picture of mental health leads to fewer people seeking treatment.  Reaching out for help can be very hard for many people and if the only mental picture we have is speaking to a narrow demographic then we may feel like we “shouldn't” need help or people often feel guilty seeking help because they believe they aren’t “bad enough” to be in therapy.  I do feel like this tide is turning with anxiety, and other life challenges and I’m hoping that with more education we will see this happen with all mental health struggles. 

Eating Disorders Must Have Extreme Behaviors

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While it is true that some individuals with eating disorders are engaging in time-consuming and objectively extreme behaviors, most individuals are covertly engaging in their eating disorders and go unnoticed.  In part, this is because as a culture we have shifted into a widely accepted pattern of disordered eating.  We talk, judge, and change our eating patterns to adhere to the latest trends that are praised or perceived as normal and good.  It is a culture where talking about certain foods in a moralist way or attaching guilt, shame, or praise to the presence or absence of food is so common that we don’t notice when others or even ourselves have internalized the data points. We become trapped in thought & behavioral patterns that can lead us right into a full-blown eating disorder.  

Dieting is often the gateway to an eating disorder, and yet dieting is seen as low risk, high reward, and “normal”. People also assume that if someone is eating then they do not have an eating disorder. Most of my clients can often eat a meal with others in a way that does not raise major red flags, but they cannot eat normally day in & day out without feeling compelled to compensate with over-exercising, restricting, binging & purging. 

Eating Disorders Are a Choice 

This one can seem tricky to both individuals struggling with an eating disorder and to those who love them. Because we all come hardwired to respond to our internal signals to seek out water, food, shelter, and connection it can seem plausible to think that once someone realizes they have an eating disorder if they can just stop worrying about food & their body that they will be able to resume an innate skill to feed themselves.  And trust me, if it was that simple, I’d happily find another career path because that would alleviate so much emotional distress & physical complications that those who suffer from an eating disorder face. 

So many times people who are struggling with an eating disorder have said that to themselves or a loved one in moments of desperation, frustration, or undereducation. They will say “Just eat” or something akin to that……...and like in all other areas of life, if the Nike slogan of  “just do it” worked when spoken aloud, we’d be investing in Nike:)   Unfortunately, it is not that simple.  Once an eating disorder is ignited or activated for an individual, it sets off a chain reaction of thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that are very hard to combat.  And while I firmly believe that recovery is possible, it is a process filled with many ups & downs, twists, and turns, and a lot of hard-fought battles.  

Individuals With Eating Disorders Know They Have an Eating Disorder

Many times individuals who are struggling with an eating disorder do not realize that this is what they are experiencing.  And to me, this makes a lot of sense because many of the behaviors that happen during an eating disorder are things that they have been praised for, or that a medical professional has reinforced due to lack of education. 

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I hope that this article expands the narrative for you and that if you are struggling with your relationship with your body or food, you will reach out and meet with an eating disorder therapist near you. You may have disordered eating, you may have an eating disorder, or you may have a struggle with how you experience your body.  All of these things can improve with the support of an eating disorder specialist. 

Begin Eating Disorder Treatment in Provo, UT

This is not the full list of misconceptions about eating disorders, but I hope that it expands your viewpoint.  Help is available, and everyone deserves to find relief from the pain that comes with an eating disorder.  Change is possible, and our team of caring therapists would be happy to offer support. Healing is within reach.  Please contact Inside Wellness if you or a loved one needs help by following these simple steps:

  1. Reach out and give us a call at 801-699-6161.

  2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

  3. Start better understanding eating disorders so you can overcome them!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience other concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

Managing Self Expectations & Anxiety in the New Year

You’ve struggled with worry & internalized pressure your entire life. 

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You always feel the need to meet but often beat the expectations that are laid out in front of you, even if these expectations are ones you have set for yourself.  There’s a part of you that even thrives off of the expectations or competition of it all.  And yet, you can see, or have been told that sometimes trying to meet these expectations all the time is leaving you riddled with more anxiety, shame, and self blame that is making your mental health worse, not better. You can’t seem to make it all stop, it’s just what you do even if it isn’t working for you without some backlash.  When people tell you to just lower your expectations you feel stuck because you either disagree or have no idea how to put that into practice.  

Here are a few tips from an anxiety therapist to close the gap and reduce the negative impacts of high self-expectations.

Apply the Reasonable Best Rule: 

Anxiety and perfectionism can propel us forward and yet often they can keep us stuck too.  When we fail to live up to the “idea” or “way” we think we should have performed or completed in a certain way or timeframe we can be much harsher with ourselves than we may be with another person.  This is often because we are only looking at the outcomes, not the circumstances that are happening at the time.  We also want to reject anything that can seem like “an excuse” for the way things turned out, and often default to beating ourselves up instead of getting curious about the context.  So what can help you be more kind and curious is looking to see if you did your “reasonable best” meaning. 

If you were watching your life from the perspective of your closest friend, what might they notice? 

How much sleep did you have, what was your stress level like within your self-expectation and with the demands happening at the same time-work, relationships, money, school, anxiety, physical or mental health, etc.   Oftentimes we do an honest accounting of what was happening in all areas of our lives, including our internal world, and we find that we did do what was reasonable for any human being in those circumstances.  This doesn’t mean that we love it or are okay with the outcomes, but that we can soften the negative self-talk by understanding what impacted how things went down.  

Stay in your Lane:

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This one can seem so obvious to us at times, and yet I find it’s a constant factor most of us need to be reminded of.  As with driving, if we take our eyes off the road in front of us to look at people in other lanes or locations in life, we can easily crash.  We all make progress or have different aims at different times in our lives.  We are all hardwired differently and when we try to go at the pace or in the direction of others paths, we often feel more overwhelmed, more anxious, more self-critical, and less successful.  One way to manage this temptation to compare and compete can be to ask yourself a few key questions. 

For example:  What if I trusted that my goals and my pace WILL lead me to the life I truly want?  

Am I comparing my points of struggle to other people's points of success, and is this a fair comparison?  Why am I noticing others and wanting to switch lanes?  When we can pose questions with sincere curiosity instead of judgment, we can often see the underlying emotions and needs we are bumping up against.  We likely won’t stop having moments of looking out of our lane, but directing our focus back onto how we can support ourselves in our lane will be time better spent.

Stop, Drop, & Roll:

This is a phrase we all know well because it was repeatedly taught and practiced through all levels of public education to do if you are caught in a fire.  The idea here is that in a crisis we can apply a few steps to slow down the scary event that is happening and get relief & safety.  When anxiety starts to build, it often leads to more anxious thoughts, and noticing anxious symptoms in our body. This in turn increases our desire to run from the proverbial fire, but running often leads to more flames of angst.  So when you notice your anxiety building, sometimes the best thing you can do is break up the pattern. 

Stop what you are doing for a minute:

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Do some deep breathing for a minute, or change your scenery, or reach out & talk to someone.  Try to “Drop” the topic of your level of anxiety by slowing down your body & your brain or seeking support to help your anxious thoughts be soothed.  And then “Roll” with it-anxiety will build to a peak point and then it WILL decelerate.  Sometimes we fear anxiety so much that we believe we cannot manage it.  But trying to control it keeps it from moving through and past us.  Emotions are often like waves in the ocean- they build, they peak and they fall away.  We cannot change the wave from existing but we can help our brain & our body in the process.

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah

Anxiety can feel like it is taking over our lives at times. This is why our team is here to help you gain some tools and support and you learn to navigate your emotions. You don’t have to do this alone. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness Counseling by following these simple steps:

  1. Schedule a consultation by reaching out or giving us a call at 801-699-6161.

  2. Meet with a caring therapists

  3. Start or message us on our website

Other Therapy Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience other concerns in addition to anxiety therapy. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, eating disorders, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

Are New Year's Resolutions Sinking Your Ship?

You’re headed back to school & the daily routine. 

You’re both excited about the year and what’s to come, and simultaneously you are feeling overwhelmed with all of the ideas in your head that you want to actualize. If only there were enough hours in the day to jump into every area of your life that you want to see yourself progress. 

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Your friends, family & classmates are buzzing with all of their New Year's Resolutions they want to accomplish and despite yourself, you end up wanting to jump on those bandwagons too and do e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!  There’s an energy in the air that feels inspiring, encouraging, and full of hope.  But as you start to settle into doing school & work on top of everything else and suddenly you feel like you are drowning in a sea of to-do’s that may be impossible to accomplish and still stay sane.  But you’re unwilling to jump ship on your aims, so how can you temper them enough to balance everything and still have a life?  

Here are three tips to consider to help you strive for excellence while stepping out of the anxiety loop & perfectionism:

It’s Okay to Pivot:

New Year's Resolutions can be a time to reflect, consider, and look ahead.  But in the high energy of the season & the chatter, we can often jump into the deep end of the pool of dreams or goals. Or we get caught up in the excitement and choose WAY too many things to feel successful in our attempts without being super rigid, super anxious, or neglecting key factors of physical or emotional wellness (such as sleep, connection, etc). 

It is so tempting to stick to the course we outlined or declared as our goals for the year.  We fear that if we change our minds, our stance, or our goals we will be judged or looked down upon. Most often the fear of judgment does not actually turn into a reality.  Most people are great at respecting our decisions to change our minds.   Oftentimes when we state what pivot we are making, those around us will just roll with it and may even admit that they have changed courses as well.  It’s human nature to get part way down a path and realize it’s in our best interest to pivot to a modified or different course altogether.

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Consider Choosing a Theme or a Word: 

Sometimes it is easier to choose a word or a theme for the year that you are striving towards.  This approach will often lead to more flexibility while continuing to move forward in learning and growth.  This also helps when competing goals bump up against each other, this approach gives us direction vs specificity.  Maybe your anxiety propels you into avoidance on a regular basis and you are tired of feeling held hostage. 

You may choose a word such as “Approach” because anxiety will go down when we approach the subject we want so much to avoid. Or maybe you could choose something to help you feel more resilient in the face of anxiety and you choose the word “Rest & Play” because you’re anxiety propels you into overdrive and excessive action and you struggle to slow down and rest or you have a hard time giving yourself permission to take a break and have fun on a regular basis. 

This approach orients us towards something that when considered over time, will allow us to integrate a new perspective or approach to improve the quality of our life or well-being.  Gradual change is often the change that tends to stick!

One Thing At a Time:

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This may not be the most popular approach, but it can still move the needle forward in your life without causing unnecessary anxiety or unrealistic expectations.  Choose one thing to focus on for a set length of time, for example, maybe you need to be more focused on school.  You might set an aim to spend x amount of time at the library this semester instead of studying at home because you’ve realized you don’t focus as well at your apartment. Or you may realize that you can get so deep into studying that your anxiety spins you out and you lose the ability to have fun and be relaxed.

So, you may opt to limit your homework time and put boundaries about when you will not do your homework,-maybe you will take part or all of the weekend off from studying and spend it doing things that increase connection & joy in your life.  Either way, you choose an aim or goal for a specific length of time, and then when the time frame is up, you choose another time frame and another aim that will help you create growth. 

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Salt Lake City, UT

If you find that you struggle to let things go or if you get rigid or frustrated when you can’t execute in the way you want to, help is available. Our team of therapists would be honored to support you. You don’t have to live in your anxiety, self-judgment, and in a constant state of distress. Help is available, high functioning anxiety is our jam. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

  1. Call or message us today at 801-699-6161.

  2. Learn more about our services and our team.

  3. Start finding the right therapeutic fit for you!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to anxiety treatment. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services including body image counseling, eating disorder therapy, and online Therapy in Utah.

Tips From an Eating Disorder Therapist in Provo, UT to Navigate Thanksgiving

You are almost packed and ready to get out of college town or work to get a break for a few days.

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Once you are settled into your car or on the plane your mind starts to calm, until you realize how this holiday will likely go down.  Dread and fear come racing in equal proportion.  You are scared to fall back into old patterns or to deal with family members who inevitably say all the wrong things and suddenly you’re eating disorder thoughts are front and center.  You fear that the hard-fought progress you have made in your eating recovery journey will go out the window.  

Feeling overwhelmed and fearful is completely understandable.  You’ve been there before and are steeped in guilt and shame about food and your body is a place you don’t want to live. 

Here are a few tips that an eating disorder therapist wants you to keep in mind this holiday:

Go Back to the Start- one meal and one day at a time.  

When we think of a long weekend, at first it sounds exciting, but it can also feel so LONG and OVERWHELMING to think about all of the meals and all of the options. Recovery has always been a one-day-at-a-time thing, especially in the early days of your recovery.   So let’s go back to those basics.  Not one meal, one snack, one day, or even one weekend is going to make or break your recovery.  Take a moment and just breathe in this truth.

Try to do the opposite of what your eating disorder wants you to do: 

Coping with crazy comments….aka diet culture palooza.  Thanksgiving can be extra tricky because it seems like even people who do not normally comment on food or bodies frequently make quips and comments on Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, the cultural norm adds a side dish of both guilt and shame to the Thanksgiving menu in most households.  It is understandable that these comments are going to throw you off balance.  Your eating disorder is more than capable of giving you an onslaught of unsolicited feedback and fears about this day & weekend, so hearing it from others takes your distress to a whole new level. 

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Logically you know this is going to happen but it still feels like a force of nature when you hear it.  In these moments, picture your treatment team & your future self encouraging you to fight those comments and defy the eating disorder by eating what sounds good to you, and what your dietician has encouraged you to eat.  It may not go perfectly, but you can get through this meal and this day.

Have a friend or family member on standby for support. 

This one can be super helpful because fighting an eating disorder is a full-time job in and of itself, and doing it without support, especially for this holiday, is extra tough.  Talk to the family member or friend in advance.  Let them know what you think will be the hardest parts of the day.  Share what comments others may say that will trigger your strongest ED thoughts, and let them know how they can help you with those comments.  Let them know if there is a way they can help you logistically with the overwhelm of food choices.  

Sometimes following someone’s lead (who has a good relationship with food) can help reduce the anxiety of trying to determine what is normal amount and variety so that you don’t get in your head from the very start.   Have a code word to say if you need help or an emoji you can text that will let them know you need some emotional and or logistical support.  There is no shame in this, I think this is the hardest day of the year for individuals in recovery.

Be Gentle with Yourself. 

Give yourself some compassion, try to encourage yourself in the way you would a good friend.  If the day goes better than you planned-awesome! If it’s harder than you predicted, think of what kind words you would say to a friend who is in recovery as well.  Would you be harsh, or would you admit it wasn’t their best day in recovery while encouraging them to go easy on themselves? We all know this answer, you have a warm and compassionate heart, and you would undoubtedly be gentle and loving with them. 

Your body is your friend.

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It is capable of handling the amount and variety of foods you will be eating this week.  You do not need to compensate for your eating and your body will remain the same shape and size it is right now.  Breathe in self-trust, breathe out the fear.  Your treatment team trusts you, your body trusts you, and you can trust you. This is one week of your life, and nothing can make or break your recovery in this short amount of time.  You’ve got this, and even if you don’t, we’ve got you!

Begin Working With an Eating Disorder Therapist

If you feel you need more help we are happy to help. You can contact our team of caring therapists for support with navigating the challenges of eating disorders. You can receive support from our Salt Lake City-based practice and across Utah. Start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps;

  1. Schedule an appointment or give us a call 801-699-6161.

  2. Learn more about the members of our team.

  3. Start enjoying the holiday season!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We know that you may experience other concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. You can also visit our blog for more helpful information today!

How to Keep Your Anxiety From Getting the Best of You During the Holidays

Let’s face it, the holidays are chaotic and rarely go as planned.

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Life feels extra overwhelming, busy, and out of control, so it’s easy to go into overdrive. Oftentimes when we go into overdrive we swing into over-control mode or we put our heads in the sand hoping it will all just go away, or both! If you pull towards the over-control side of life, then this blog is for you:)  While being in overdrive seems like “structure“ to us initially. It can leave us feeling more rigid, and more stressed and leaves our relationships in shambles as we try to “help” others and ourselves get through the holidays our way.  While we call it structure, our family may feel like our approach is frustrating at best. The more we over-control the more rigid we get and the more resistant we are to change & allowing for spontaneity and connection.

Here are a few tips to help combat the trenches of rigidity, even though it helps you feel a false sense of control.  

1) Recognize which camp you tend to jump into when life gets crazy.

Everyone has a different response to anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. However, over-control plays out very differently than avoidance.  Overcontrol can look like wanting things to be in a very specific fashion or manner in order to feel like they will “get done“. Or specific attempts or ways to make things feel more “manageable. However, in these attempts, our thoughts and behaviors narrow and we are less open to new ways of being flexible. We feel and present as being rigid about how things should (air quotes) go down.

2) Recognize the intention behind your actions.

Your heart is in the right place, you just want everything to go smoothly and turn out well. You are striving for a sense of calmness, peace, or a sense of capability. Wanting to feel calm, peaceful, and capable are all good things.  However, gone unchecked or without flexibility these good aims turn into mandates or unrealistic expectations for yourself and others. Your good intentions and talent too far may backfire on you.   Remind yourself that you are capable of handling windows of ambiguity and higher stress levels even though you hate how it feels. 

3)Losing your grip, this one seems counterintuitive, because when we are feeling out of control, what we want to do is to double down and increase the rules and structure, but this feels safer to us. 

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This is often where perfectionism creeps in. It also allows for very little room for margin. And let’s face it things never go as planned, and when this happens we become more emotionally upset. When get rigid when we have a specific idea in our head of how it should go or how a timeline should happen. We can loosen our grip and have more flexibility in our expectations.  Flexibility can often help us find enjoyment and happiness when things turn out differently than expected.

4) There is a difference between being in charge and in control.

We often think that being in control is what will ensure a good outcome. This is actually a false sense of reality because there are very few things we can actually control. However, being in charge shifts the focus.  We can choose to do things to help us regulate our mood and adapt our expectations. Over-control leads us to micromanage the circumstances so that everything goes according to our plan, being in charge of ourselves allows for flexibility, other opinions and approaches, and occasionally an unexpectedly great outcome. After all, the aim is to have a fun-filled holiday season. 

My favorite childhood Christmas Eve memory came from this very concept.  A turn of events led to the traditional meal being foiled.  So we pivoted, and in that pivot, we created a memory that lasted far longer than any other.  We ended up eating Pizza Hut by candlelight, a far cry from my mom’s vision of how that night would go. But it was filled with laughter, imperfection, and connection.  Three things you can embrace and enjoy when you can allow yourself to let go of what should be and lean into what is happening in the moment.  

So when the over-control urges kick in, and they almost always do during times of high stress, you can do your best to see them for what they are. You can identify your core desires for you and your family to have the best experiences and then be open to the idea that some of the best experiences in life are the ones that turn out differently than we expected. Because different can also be so, so good!

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Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Salt Lake City, UT

If you feel like your anxiety hijacks your holidays or your mood, reach out for help.  We will happily talk to you about your needs, questions, and concerns from our Salt Lake City-based practice. You can receive remote addressing anxiety symptoms from our team of caring therapists by following these simple steps:

  1. Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call

  2. Meet with a caring therapist

  3. Start making the most of your holiday!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience more than one mental health concern at a time. This is why our team is happy to offer support with a variety of services in addition to anxiety treatment. These services include eating disorders, body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

Unmasking Diet Culture: How It Impacts Eating Disorders

In a world that places immense value on appearance and body size, it's no surprise that diet culture has taken hold.

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Diet culture refers to the societal obsession with thinness, weight loss, and the belief that one's worth is determined by their body size. While its intentions might seem innocent, diet culture has profound effects, especially on individuals already vulnerable to eating disorders. As a certified eating disorder specialist who advocates for the Health At Every Size (HAES) approach, I want to shed some light on what diet culture truly is and how it profoundly influences those struggling with eating disorders.

Defining Diet Culture

Diet culture encompasses a wide range of beliefs, practices, and societal norms that promote the pursuit of weight loss as a means to achieve happiness, success, and self-worth. It glorifies thinness as the ideal body type, perpetuates negative body image, and prescribes rigid eating and exercise routines as a way to achieve this ideal. It's important to understand that diet culture extends far beyond dieting; it includes the subtle messages embedded in media, and everyday conversations that reinforce the notion that thinness equals beauty and happiness.

4 Ways Diet Culture Impacts 

  • Fueling Disordered Eating Behaviors: Diet culture often leads individuals down a slippery slope of disordered eating behaviors. The relentless pursuit of weight loss can trigger restrictive eating, excessive exercise, and a preoccupation with food. For those already genetically predisposed to eating disorders, these behaviors can easily escalate into full-blown eating disorders. 

  • Perpetuating Body Dissatisfaction: Diet culture thrives on promoting dissatisfaction with one's body, implying that it's never good enough as it is. This constant dissatisfaction can contribute to body dysmorphia and a negative body image, creating fertile ground for eating disorders to take root.

  • Creating an Emotional Roller Coaster: The promises of diet culture are often tied to achieving happiness and self-worth through weight loss. However, when these goals aren't met, individuals can experience feelings of failure, shame, and low self-esteem. These emotional ups and downs can exacerbate underlying mental health issues and lead to the development of eating disorders.

  • Distorting Perceptions of Health: Diet culture wrongly equates health with a specific body size. It ignores the complex interplay of genetics, lifestyle, socioeconomic factors, and mental health in determining overall well-being. 

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The HAES Approach as an Alternative

The Health At Every Size (HAES) approach is a paradigm shift from diet culture. It recognizes that health is multifaceted and includes physical, emotional, and mental well-being. HAES rejects the idea that everyone must conform to a certain body standard and emphasizes that people of all sizes deserve respect, support, and access to health-promoting resources.

  • Embracing Body Diversity: HAES celebrates the diversity of body sizes and shapes. It acknowledges that health can be achieved at various sizes and that individuals should not be judged solely based on their appearance.

  • Promoting Intuitive Eating: Instead of adhering to rigid diets, HAES encourages intuitive eating – listening to one's body cues to guide eating choices. This approach allows individuals to reconnect with their bodies and honor their hunger, fullness, and cravings without guilt.

  • Focusing on Well-being: HAES shifts the focus from weight loss to overall well-being. It promotes physical activity that brings joy, self-care, and mental wellness as essential components of a healthy life.

  • Challenging Societal Norms: HAES challenges societal norms that equate body shape & size with worthiness. By advocating for body diversity and deconstructing the system of oppression, both health and well-being are more likely to improve.

Diet culture's influence is far-reaching and insidious, particularly for individuals vulnerable to eating disorders. Recognizing the damaging impact of diet culture is essential in providing effective support and treatment for those struggling.

Begin Eating Disorder Treatment in Salt Lake City, UT

As certified eating disorder specialists and advocates of the Health At Every Size approach, our goal is to empower individuals to break free from the confines of diet culture and embrace a holistic view of health and self-worth. By challenging these harmful beliefs and adopting a compassionate, inclusive approach, we can foster a healthier relationship with food, body image, and overall well-being. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

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  1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

  2. Learn more about our services and our team.

  3. Start finding the right therapeutic fit for you!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services including body image counseling, anxiety therapy, and online Therapy in Utah.

An Online Therapist in Utah Shares Tips on Opening up With a Virtual Therapist

Let’s face it, once the pandemic hit and online everything became the norm, our world was forever changed. 

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Our culture changed in terms of offering many long-term shifts, such as hybrid or work-from-home jobs now becoming the norm. And while universities, entertainment, and many industries resumed pre-pandemic business as usual (thankfully), other areas of life now allow us to choose how to spend our time.  If you want to see your doctor or a therapist virtually, you almost always can.  It has been our experience that while many people initially requested in-person therapy appointments during the past year or two, many pivoted back to virtual appointments because of the ease & time-saving benefits.  So we thought we’d share a few ideas on helping you know how to connect with your counselor, therapist, or medical provider with ease.

Don’t Overthink It:

Haha, easier said than done, right?  Typically overthinking a few things is normal, and tends to happen when we are new to doing something or meeting someone.  Given that mental health is so personal and can feel so vulnerable we find that the initial session is the most anxiety-provoking.  While this may be your first introduction to virtual therapy, or simply just to this specific provider, it is not new for the person you are seeing.  They have been doing virtual sessions since, and sometimes even before the pandemic changed how we do things.  They should be skilled and able to help you feel at ease upon meeting them. This is actually a part of what you want to be looking for in general because therapy can be vulnerable and a little uncomfortable at times, so connecting with a provider who puts you at ease is essential.  

Comfortable Setting: 

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Choose a location that best suits you and makes you feel at home so to speak. For some people, that is literally at home in your joggers & comfy tee shirt in your favorite chair.  For others, they may opt to do therapy from in their car because it is often their second home and they are free from the listening ears of roommates or family members.  And occasionally people do sessions from their office setting or an empty classroom on campus.  

Choose a Private Setting:  

This one can sometimes be obvious if you tend to be more private by nature, but often times it is overlooked.  If you tend to be more of an open book, then you may be comfortable being in a more public place and feel okay if others may hear part of what you are sharing. While where you choose to have a session is ultimately up to you, we would still strongly encourage you to have full privacy from start to finish.  We want you to feel free to share the full extent of your lived experiences and your feelings when they surface, and we’ve observed that if your roommates might be able to hear parts of what you are sharing or if you are watching the door of your classroom to make sure no one enters, it’s often time to settle into your feelings and experiences at a meaningful level.  You can consider wearing headphones or earbuds if you feel your privacy may be interrupted as a safety measure, however, the best bet is full privacy in a room or location where no one can listen in or interrupt you.

Talk It Out:  

Your counselor’s job is to help ensure that therapy is both beneficial to you and that the virtual platform is a good fit for you as well. Some people have reported that being in their home environment has made it easier to open up than being in an office setting.  There is some research that suggests that we do lose some inhibition when in a virtual setting faster than we may in person.  However, it is not a great fit for all. If you are finding it hard to connect or if you simply don’t like this approach, tell your therapist immediately.  Together you can determine if there are things that can be done to improve the experience, or if you simply need to be connected to a therapist who sees you in person. 

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Your therapist should be willing to help you find a specialist who can see you in person and help you make that transition on a timeline that works for you.  A good therapist will always want you to do what is very best for you!  So if you have any worries or guilt, know that we are behind you and want you to get what YOU need, even when that is not working with us. If you are having tech difficulties, speak up immediately. A good internet connection is a must, so let us know so we can troubleshoot those immediately.  While it is the provider's job to supply a HIPPA-compliant platform for your privacy, you will need to ensure you are connected to a secure internet network or streaming service. If you have questions or concerns about this, talk it out with your counselor as she/he/they should know what guidelines are best on this front.  

Begin Working with An Online Therapist in Salt Lake City, UT

If you have questions if online therapy is a good fit for you, don’t hesitate to reach out.  We will happily talk to you about your needs, questions, and concerns from our Salt Lake City-based practice. You can receive remote support from our team of caring therapists by following these simple steps:

  1. Contact us to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call

  2. Meet with a caring therapist

  3. Start addressing the concerns affecting you most

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience more than one mental health concern at a time. This is why our team is happy to offer support with a variety of services including eating disorders, body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

3 Tips to Help You Be Present When Poolside: Ways to Cope With Anxiety About Your Body

You step outside, and the sun on your face no longer feels gentle and warm, it’s heating up and it’s time to get into the full swing of summertime. 

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You love the idea of being present in your body, in your life, and in your swimsuit. But, yet you are struuuggggling to feel calm and okay about it all.  When it comes to getting ready for and being at the pool you find your thoughts are racing and you just can’t relax about it.  But you go anyway and hope that you can get out of your head and into the zone and enjoy yourself.  Here are 3 tips to ease your anxiety and enjoy your day:

Come back to the moment and to the basics. 

Start by placing your feet on the ground and intentionally identifying the sensation underneath them.  Notice what you can & describe it in detail or aloud.  This may be the texture of your flip-flops, the wet grass, or the heat & texture of the bottom of the pool.  Describing or focusing on in-the-moment sensations brings your awareness back to the present and away from the negative sensations you were starting to feel when comparison or self-criticism surfaced.  You will also feel more centered and less anxious if you’ll pause to breathe.  Anxiety maxes our brains & breath speeds up, so slowing down your breath will slow down your body and ease your anxiety. 

Challenge or change your internal story. 

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The brain is a powerful thing. It takes sensations, thoughts, images, smells, and any internal or external data and quickly explains the situation or sensation to us.  The good news is that it works quickly & wants to make sense of things. The bad news is that it doesn't have to be accurate to be believable.  Once the story, or narrative, rings as possible or true to us, we are rewarded & reinforced for its conclusion.  I’m guessing you can see how this can be dangerous at times.  So ask yourself if the story that just went through your head is based on the past, the present, or the future.  

If you've had negative feedback or experiences at the pool, then your body may be reacting to a past situation, and getting grounded back into the moment may be your best line of defense. If it is based on the future, gently ask your brain to come back to the now and breathe.  We also want to challenge the facts.  If it makes sense (and it likely will in the moment), is it also true?  Spoiler alert, it may feel true because fear is very convincing, but is it based on a fact? Would your best friend agree with the fact that just came to mind or might they say it is a feeling? Facts and feelings are best when softened and you are supported.  Invite yourself to identify 1-2 additional internal narratives that would be more supportive and more true. 

Soak up self-compassion like you’re soaking in the sun!  

Self-compassion is a way of offering support to ourselves in the way we would typically offer to a good friend.  It is really helpful and often hard to do.  It can be hard to do b/c we don’t have a lot of practice at it, and in the moment we need it most we struggle to access or believe it.  If you are struggling to give yourself support, do the “best friend test”- if your best friend just shared with you what happened and how it made her feel, how would you genuinely respond?  Now take that response and say it to yourself.  Offer yourself that same context, validation, and empathy that you so quickly & easily give to others.  At first, it will feel forced and challenging to absorb.  We often want to reject this kindness when others offer it which makes giving it to ourselves one layer harder, and IMO, one layer more important.  After all, you are with yourself the most, so learning to treat yourself with kindness and compassion is worth the time and effort it takes to learn to soak in your own words of support.    

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Anxiety can be overwhelming, body image distress can be overwhelming, and the cross combination can feel impossible at times.  Anxiety is like gravity, what goes up must come down.  And it will.  Your anxiety can ease.  Your body image distress will come down.  Go to the pool!  Get engaged in your favorite book, talk to your friends, and embrace the sensations of the sunshine and water as they warm you & refresh you.  

Begin Working with An Eating Disorder Therapist in Provo, UT

If you are struggling with anxiety or body image, call us; we are here to help! Our team is happy to provide support from our Provo, UT-based practice and across Utah. Inside Wellness is committed to helping you get the care you need to begin to your body. Help is available, and you can start your therapy journey by following these steps:

  1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

  2. Learn more about our services and our team.

  3. Start finding the right therapeutic fit for you!

Other Therapy Services Offered With Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services including body image counseling, anxiety therapy, and online Therapy in Utah.

Is It Normal to Be Anxious About Having Anxiety?

While anxiety impacts everyone differently, it is very common to have anxiety about your own anxiety. 

While this may sound funny to some, there are some valid reasons why this is your experience.  There is evidence that suggests that individuals who are struggling with anxiety have an increased awareness of their own internal body cues.  This hyperawareness can prompt your body and brain into becoming on high alert for any change.  Our brains can often experience changes in our environment as potential threats. 

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If we think back to the caveman days, it’s nature’s way of trying to make sure that humans survive. If I had been a cave dweller and I was actually chased by a bear when I was doing my daily routine, it’s safe to say that I would be smart to avoid the areas in which I saw the bear or identify additional exit strategies to stay alive. It’s my brain’s job to pay attention to cues of danger and after an awful encounter with a bear, my brain is going to pay extra attention to any subtly that sounds, smells, or looks similar to the past experience. 

I think it’s fair to say that most of us will never be chased by a bear and don’t need to be ready to run at any time.

However, our bodies often respond to perceived threats as if that is our reality.  Our “bears” if you will, have changed, but our bodies and brains have the same survival instinct as our ancestors.  

So, the degree to which you may be anxious about your anxiety bear appearing will depend on how often, how intensely, and the way in which it shows up in your life.  If your anxiety bear only surfaces when you have a test to take, then it makes sense that your brain will anticipate having test anxiety.  You may find ways to lessen it over time or it could worsen if it seems to impact your test outcomes.   If your test outcomes impact your potential career path, then that anxiety bear could feel more intimidating and terrifying when you are taking the test that impacts your next step vs a test for an elective class or something of less consequence.  

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If your anxiety bear tends to hover in the background and moseys in and out of your line of sight randomly but never tries to attack you, your brain will learn to manage that as a distressing but “normal” part of the landscape and will work around the distress.  It can still leave you more leary of changes in your life because your bear likes to hang out more frequently when things are changing. 

If your anxiety bear hibernates while stress mounts but then jumps out of the cave rapidly and randomly in the form of a panic attack, then you might feel fearful of another panic attack…which once again, thinking of our brains as our way of surviving, definitely makes sense. 

So, how can you cope with the anxiety bear itself and then the anxiety about when your anxiety bear shows up in your life?  

  • Explore the patterns and themes of your anxiety.  There are differing types of anxiety and different anxiety disorders. Learn to spot and label them. Labeling something by its name and how it functions tells helps our brains tolerate distress.  So label your anxiety thoughts as such. This will not make it go away but will give you & your brain a better chance of knowing when to relax vs run.   If the thought of this feels daunting, talk it out with a trusted friend, family member, or licensed therapist

  •  The only thing to avoid is avoiding, easier said than done, I get it.  When our brain perceives a threat the instinct is to avoid it.  Approaching a bear in the wild is most definitely a bad idea, but when our anxiety bear is not life-threatening then responding to the cues saying it is, will only train our brains to run anytime someone even thinks of a bear.   We want to help our brains learn to identify perceived threats (things that look like a bear- a brown horse,  a black dog, etc) from an actual threat of an actual bear.  So taking a test, for example, can be stressful, scary, and can feel like we are about to be attacked, but in all reality it is safe. So approaching vs avoiding is what is needed to survive and graduate from college if that is your desired goal.

  • Seek support:  Most people who have anxiety benefit from having support when they are approaching a thing that feels terrifying.  It’s instinctive and wise to seek support from people who can help.  There are many types of support that help with anxiety.  For some, talking aloud & externalizing the fear will move them forward.  Others benefit from seeking therapy and or medication from a medical professional. There are varying types of therapy that can help with anxiety and learning to tame & tolerate your anxiety bear.  

A close up of a person with a notebook sitting across from a person listening. Learn how therapy for anxiety in salt lake city can offer help by contacting an anxiety therapist or searching for an anxiety therapist near me.

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Salt Lake City

Anxiety is hard enough, if you are struggling with anxiety about your anxiety, know that this is normal, we see you, we get it. We are here to help and are honored to offer support in Salt Lake City and across the state. Follow the steps below to get started on your self-care journey. If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

  1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

  2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

  3. Start addressing your anxiety in healthier ways

Other Therapy Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience other concerns in addition to anxiety treatment. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, eating disorders, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!