The Desire For Perfection
The desire to be and appear perfect is increasingly common, especially in Western culture. It might be a desire for the perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect skin, the perfect makeup, the perfect clothes, the perfect house, the perfect marriage, and the perfect personality. Our Therapists at Inside Wellness in Utah understand these pressures and are here to help you overcome the desire for perfectionism.
Perfectionism Does Not Equal Happiness
You may tell yourself that if you could just be more perfect, you’d be happier, better liked or respected, or accepted. That your life would just be better.
The pursuit of perfection, however, has been proven to lead to anything but the above. It adds an enormous amount of anxiety and pressure to lives that our already stressful and demanding.
It is possible to accept and love yourself for being imperfect. Which, let’s face it, all of us are. And even if - by some miracle - you manage to convince others that you are perfect in some way, that belief is almost never reflected internally. You can appear perfect to others, and feel anything but perfect inside.
Society’s Push for Comparison
Our society seems to thrive on comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s celebrities, social media, colleagues, or friends, we are actively encouraged to compare ourselves to others multiple times a day. Often, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. And usually, you find yourself lacking in some way.
Maybe your accomplishments or skills may never seem to you to be as noteworthy as others. Or you constantly see your body or your skin’s imperfections and resent them. You love all the times your marriage is going great…and then hate it when a challenge arises.
If you’re aiming for perfection, nothing will ever satisfy your expectations of yourself. But admitting that you are not perfect can feel like you’re giving up.
Acceptance of Self Through Therapy for Perfectionism
The reality, however, is that accepting and even embracing your imperfections does not mean you’re complacent or that you’ve given up. You have dreams, hopes, and goals outside of your desire for perfection - these dreams are the same whether you accept you’re imperfect or not.
Accepting your imperfections actually frees you to devote more time and energy to the pursuit of these dreams, without the pressure and anxiety or having the outcome tied to your feelings of self-worth.
How Can You Accept and Even Learn to Appreciate Your Imperfections?
The first step is to identify in which areas of your life you’re trying to appear or be perfect.
Once you’ve identified those, write them down. Think about why you want to appear perfect so much. Is it pressure from society or your culture? Do you fear being rejected or abandoned if you don’t at least appear perfect in this area? Are your feelings of self-worth somehow tied to this desire for perfection?
This internal conversation may be uncomfortable. After all, your answers can reflect foundational beliefs that you’ve based your life around. However, just because you’ve been taught to believe a certain perspective is true, doesn’t automatically mean that it is true or that it’s right for you.
Challenge your negative beliefs.
Look at them from different perspectives. Ask yourself, ‘If a dear friend was telling me this, what would I say to them?’ And remember, the act of challenging your beliefs doesn’t mean you also have to change those beliefs; you’re simply choosing to look at them from another perspective.
Something that can really help in identifying and challenging your beliefs about perfection is talking to a therapist who specializes in perfectionism. Reaching out for support takes courage, but it can be the tipping point that helps you regain control of your inner peace and balance.
Begin Online Therapy for Perfectionism in Utah
Carrying the weight of the drive for perfectionism can be mentally exhausting and lead to an unfulfilled, unhappy existence. At Inside Wellness, our team of skilled therapists is here to help You overcome this unachievable desire to be perfect in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. You ARE worth it! Follow the steps below to get started.
If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:
Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.
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