You just go through the holidays, and now you are entrenched in the cultural chatter of all things New Year’s “goals”. People cannot stop talking about the amazing things they are planning to do this year, and of course and unfortunately, you are being bombarded with diet culture talk about weight loss, pursuing “health” in ways that are really diet culture in disguise, and you are feeling all of the uncomfortable feels.
You are unsure who to talk to because people don’t understand that not jumping on this bandwagon is 20x’s harder for you than joining them. If they only knew your history, you hope they’d understand that what they are saying is activating your eating disorder thoughts in a big way. Please know that while others may not get it, every provider that understands eating disorders is pulling for you because we know that Thanksgiving end of January can be a long, triggering, and exhausting time for you. And while we know you can keep moving forward, we understand the degree of difficulty you are facing right now.
First and foremost, it’s okay to not participate in this process at all. And if you do want to participate in the process I’d suggest trying it in a new way.
Choose a word for the year, not a list of goals.
In general, New Year’s goals or resolutions tend to be lofty aims people set for themselves that typically are unrealistic and only last a short window of time. They often endorse the all-or-nothing thought patterns that you are working to unpack within eating disorder recovery and outside of it too. A few options that would support your recovery but could extend beyond it could be: self-care, being flexible, rest & play, being mindful, and self-compassion to name a few. Many people choose a word or a theme instead of goals because they feel it is more realistic and allows for imperfections as it is an aim instead of an exact outcome.
Remember that the phrase “health” is a broad umbrella.
You are working on prioritizing your physical and mental health, in different ways than what others may be talking about right now, but equally if not more difficult than people will ever realize. Healing your relationship with food & your body is such hard work. Down the road, you will be so grateful for the work you are doing because in time, it will allow food to be a topic that no longer causes such distress, but in time come with ease.
Once again, many people will not get how hard it is for you to eat your challenge foods, to eat meals & snacks consistently, to exercise less and not more, and whatever else your eating disorder dietician and treatment team is having you work on. So if you do feel pressured to “choose” a health aim (this often occurs in work or school settings), choose from the broader umbrella which includes: sleep, stress management, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, rest & play(yes, this one is super helpful for our nervous system), embracing imperfections, and self-compassion to name a few.
All of these have science-based outcomes that improve our mental and physical health. If you are with people who are safe and know your history, you can share something your treatment team is having you work towards. We know it’s hard to be in these conversations, and we know it’s hard to not participate in certain settings, so this is just an option of a way you can participate if you feel it’s appropriate to do so. Also, feel free to opt out of these conversations altogether if that will support your recovery best.
Seek Support Frequently
When you feel activated or triggered by comments people are making in a group setting or one on one make sure you seek support. If you can speak up and set a boundary in the moment, that’s awesome. But if that isn’t realistic or is too overwhelming, text a friend who gets it and let them know you need to be reminded to keep working on YOUR recovery or to be reminded that the diet culture chatter you are hearing now is echoing your eating disorder thoughts and that you need their help to get out of your head or the conversation that’s triggering you.
Be extra gentle with yourself
January is my least favorite month of the year because I know it is a trigger fest for all of my clients who are trying so hard to fight their eating disorder thoughts and longstanding behavioral patterns. In my weekly sessions, I hear about how hard it is to hear people making comments that contributed to the start of your own eating disorder, or that make you want to run back to it. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that in a few weeks, people will return back to their normal living and that the external triggers and chatter will die down.
You can do this, and it’s okay to struggle, to increase your self-care, and to seek more support than you think you might need in order to survive. If you hit a setback, know that it’s just a setback. Eating disorder recovery is a journey that is not a clear-cut, straight line. It’s messy, has many setbacks and many strides forward, and can be done! Share your struggles and setbacks with your team, we are here to help during your session time, and we are certainly mindful of you & cheering you on from the sidelines this month in between your appointments.
Begin Working With an Eating Disorder Therapist in Utah
If you were doing well, but experiencing a setback in your eating disorder recovery don’t hesitate to reach out and seek help again. Our team of caring eating disorder therapists would be honored to support you in overcoming your eating disorder. If you are realizing that you may have an eating disorder, help is available. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:
Contact us or give us a call 801-699-6161.
Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.
Get set up with a counselor who is right for you!
Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness
Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to eating disorder treatment. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!