You are almost packed and ready to get out of college town or work to get a break for a few days.
Once you are settled into your car or on the plane your mind starts to calm, until you realize how this holiday will likely go down. Dread and fear come racing in equal proportion. You are scared to fall back into old patterns or to deal with family members who inevitably say all the wrong things and suddenly you’re eating disorder thoughts are front and center. You fear that the hard-fought progress you have made in your eating recovery journey will go out the window.
Feeling overwhelmed and fearful is completely understandable. You’ve been there before and are steeped in guilt and shame about food and your body is a place you don’t want to live.
Here are a few tips that an eating disorder therapist wants you to keep in mind this holiday:
Go Back to the Start- one meal and one day at a time.
When we think of a long weekend, at first it sounds exciting, but it can also feel so LONG and OVERWHELMING to think about all of the meals and all of the options. Recovery has always been a one-day-at-a-time thing, especially in the early days of your recovery. So let’s go back to those basics. Not one meal, one snack, one day, or even one weekend is going to make or break your recovery. Take a moment and just breathe in this truth.
Try to do the opposite of what your eating disorder wants you to do:
Coping with crazy comments….aka diet culture palooza. Thanksgiving can be extra tricky because it seems like even people who do not normally comment on food or bodies frequently make quips and comments on Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, the cultural norm adds a side dish of both guilt and shame to the Thanksgiving menu in most households. It is understandable that these comments are going to throw you off balance. Your eating disorder is more than capable of giving you an onslaught of unsolicited feedback and fears about this day & weekend, so hearing it from others takes your distress to a whole new level.
Logically you know this is going to happen but it still feels like a force of nature when you hear it. In these moments, picture your treatment team & your future self encouraging you to fight those comments and defy the eating disorder by eating what sounds good to you, and what your dietician has encouraged you to eat. It may not go perfectly, but you can get through this meal and this day.
Have a friend or family member on standby for support.
This one can be super helpful because fighting an eating disorder is a full-time job in and of itself, and doing it without support, especially for this holiday, is extra tough. Talk to the family member or friend in advance. Let them know what you think will be the hardest parts of the day. Share what comments others may say that will trigger your strongest ED thoughts, and let them know how they can help you with those comments. Let them know if there is a way they can help you logistically with the overwhelm of food choices.
Sometimes following someone’s lead (who has a good relationship with food) can help reduce the anxiety of trying to determine what is normal amount and variety so that you don’t get in your head from the very start. Have a code word to say if you need help or an emoji you can text that will let them know you need some emotional and or logistical support. There is no shame in this, I think this is the hardest day of the year for individuals in recovery.
Be Gentle with Yourself.
Give yourself some compassion, try to encourage yourself in the way you would a good friend. If the day goes better than you planned-awesome! If it’s harder than you predicted, think of what kind words you would say to a friend who is in recovery as well. Would you be harsh, or would you admit it wasn’t their best day in recovery while encouraging them to go easy on themselves? We all know this answer, you have a warm and compassionate heart, and you would undoubtedly be gentle and loving with them.
Your body is your friend.
It is capable of handling the amount and variety of foods you will be eating this week. You do not need to compensate for your eating and your body will remain the same shape and size it is right now. Breathe in self-trust, breathe out the fear. Your treatment team trusts you, your body trusts you, and you can trust you. This is one week of your life, and nothing can make or break your recovery in this short amount of time. You’ve got this, and even if you don’t, we’ve got you!
Begin Working With an Eating Disorder Therapist
If you feel you need more help we are happy to help. You can contact our team of caring therapists for support with navigating the challenges of eating disorders. You can receive support from our Salt Lake City-based practice and across Utah. Start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps;
Schedule an appointment or give us a call 801-699-6161.
Learn more about the members of our team.
Start enjoying the holiday season!
Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness
We know that you may experience other concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. You can also visit our blog for more helpful information today!