Tools for Success and Self-Compassion
As college students, we all know the feeling: that tightness in our chest, the racing thoughts, the relentless pressure to excel. Yes, finals season is upon us once again, and for many of us, it brings not only the stress of exams but also the suffocating grip of perfectionism. You might find yourself striving for flawlessness in every assignment, every test, every paper. But what if I told you that perfectionism doesn't have to be your constant companion during finals? What if there were tools and strategies to help you navigate this stressful time with a little more ease and a lot more self-compassion?
5 Ways Perfectionism Can Present During Finals:
Fear of Failure:
Perfectionists often equate failure with personal worth, leading to intense anxiety about performing poorly on exams or assignments.
Procrastination:
The pressure to achieve perfection can sometimes lead to avoidance and procrastination, as the fear of not meeting impossibly high standards becomes overwhelming.
Self-Criticism:
Perfectionists are their own harshest critics, constantly berating themselves for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings.
Burnout:
The relentless pursuit of perfection can result in burnout, leaving perfectionistic students feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotionally drained.
Imposter Syndrome:
Perfectionists may struggle with feeling like frauds, doubting their abilities, and fearing that they will be exposed as inadequate.
Tools to Combat Perfectionism During Finals:
Set Realistic Goals:
Instead of aiming for perfection, set realistic and achievable goals for yourself during finals. Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, and remember to take it one day (or one hour) at a time.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. This is always harder than it seems but if you wouldn’t say it to your bestie, then maybe it’s not kind or fair to say to yourself.
Challenge All-or-Nothing Thinking:
Perfectionism happens when we fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking, believing that anything less than perfect is a failure. Challenge these black-and-white thoughts by acknowledging the gray areas and embracing the concept of progress over perfection. I always remind students that B stands for balance and that C’s get degrees. I know reading that may spark more anxiety but the goal here is to remind yourself that it can be okay if you don’t get the grade you’re hoping for every time.
Focus on Effort, Not Outcome:
Shift your focus away from the end result and toward the effort you put into your work. Value the process of learning and growth rather than fixating solely on the outcome.
Practice Mindfulness:
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine to help reduce stress and anxiety during finals. Take breaks to practice deep breathing, take a break, and sing a song to help you anchor back into the moment. Perfectionism or anxiety puts us ahead or behind the data, and both lead us to feel much more stressed and to have more extreme thinking.
Seek Support:
Reach out to friends, family members, or a trusted mentor for support during finals. Share your struggles with perfectionism and ask for encouragement and reassurance when you need it most. College is a very different animal than high school or the workforce, so it’s okay if you feel lost & need a reminder that it will all be okay.
Set Boundaries:
Prioritize self-care during finals by setting boundaries around your time and energy. Know when to say no to additional commitments and give yourself permission to take breaks and rest when needed.
Let Go of Comparison:
Avoid comparing yourself to others during finals, perhaps the hardest of them all. The funny thing with college is that it is geared towards a specific type of learning and testing style. So if it’s your jam, that’s awesome, and if it’s not, then that’s okay too. In college finals & grades seem like the measure of success in the real world. And yet, if you surveyed most people in the workforce, it really becomes irrelevant outside of getting into graduate school, etc. What matters is effort, teamwork, and a host of knowledge & skills relevant to your career path.
Perfectionism does not allow for a degree of difficulty to exist, but if you can acknowledge this reality, finals will go smoother for you. The truth is that some finals are better than others, some semesters are easier while others are harder. And as humans sometimes we can do more or less than the finals before this one. Be kind to yourself, study hard, take lots of breaks, eat regularly, and get plenty of sleep…….and then let the chips fall as they may.
Start Working With an Anxiety Therapist in Salt Lake City, UT
If perfectionism and anxiety take over your life and you want to loosen your grip while still doing well, reach out. Inside Wellness can help. Take it from a recovered perfectionist, change is possible, and life can have more ease in it while still striving for excellence. You can start working with a caring therapist by following these simple steps:
Call or message us today at 801-699-6161.
Learn more about our services and our team.
Start finding the right therapeutic fit for you!
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