The birds are chirping, the sun is sizzling and fear starts to run through your veins as you think about all of the upcoming summer events that require a swimsuit.
You have noticed the uptick from your inner critic about your body and you are starting to dread the season you love most. You wish that you could just find ease in this area of your life but so far, nothing seems to work.
Here are a few things to consider as you prepare for the pool and you notice your anxiety starting to rise:
Maybe your body is NOT the actual problem.
Everywhere we turn we are bombarded with messages about changing our bodies. You see it on TV, in commercials, on social media, and oftentimes most social circles have some chatter about trying X diet to change the way you look. You’ve tried some of these things and it ended poorly because it led you into an eating disorder, or temporarily feeling better to only land back at the same place-hating on your body. So what if we shifted to focus on the real culprit, your beliefs about your body? If we see our bodies as the problem, then it makes sense why preoccupation about them crops up. However, if we see our beliefs about our body as the problem, then we can start to focus on changing those beliefs.
Explore your Stormy First Draft:
Let’s take a look at your SFDs (stormy first drafts). A stormy first draft is an internal story or narrative that surfaces about a specific topic or situation. It's typically the thing that we don’t always want to share with others because it is harsh or ignites shame. Oftentimes we have these thoughts so frequently or quickly that we aren’t aware that we are having them, so negative beliefs go unchecked, which means we accept them as truths. So it’s no wonder why we feel anxious or bad when we are getting ready to go to the pool if we are saying things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Our brains are amazing, and sometimes unhelpful at times. Let me explain, our brain has to have some type of story or narrative about everything that happens.
So between the event & conclusion, we must have a story, the problem here is that the story does not have to be accurate for our brain to reward us, it just has to make sense to us.
Que SFDs that can feel SO convincing but may not be accurate to the situation and more often than not, can tie into our deepest fears or negative image of ourselves in any area. So if we do poorly on a test it’s easy for our brain to insert a narrative about an insecurity, such as “Now everyone is going to know how stupid you are and that you faked your way into college”. So when it comes to body image, in a culture that tells us we always have to be changing how we look, it’s easy to see how we could have some SFDs that really sink the emotional ship so to speak.
Change your story instead of your swimsuit or your body.
Body image is a tough topic because it often feels overwhelming and hard to change. It’s not about believing that you look good all the time, it’s believing that your body IS good. Full stop. However, it may or may not look at any given time. It’s about treating your body respectfully & engaging fully in life in the body you are in. It’s learning to catch those SFDs and challenge them or change them. It is about talking more compassionately or kindly to ourselves & our bodies. We can do this by putting some compassion around an SFD that we feel we cannot change, at least not in the moment it surfaces.
We can do that by identifying how painful it is to feel that way about ourselves & pinpointing the context of where that belief came from. Such as “Wow, that SFD is really painful because it came from (x negative experience) and so it makes sense that it is hitting me really hard. AND I am trusting that others can accept me and love me for who I am and would want me to participate fully today”.
We can label the source of the problem as “Wow, my brain is really trying to blame my body for its outburst today” or “My beliefs are really convincing today and I’m trying not to listen to them”. Once again, we’ve learned to change our bodies over the years, not to work on changing our minds, and yet true freedom comes in learning how to do this, it takes time & practice so be patient with yourself.
We can respond to ourselves the way we would to a friend who is having a hard time.
We can actually say out loud or in our minds what we would honestly say to a friend who was having a hard time with their own body. We typically do this by reminding them that they are being hard or unfair to themselves and we remind them that we value them over their body & we want them to join us in having fun that day. We may give them a hug or try to make them smile in some way. So don’t hesitate to give yourself a hug or a gentle touch, as cheesy as it may sound in this moment, it really can help us feel comforted and supported.
We can text a friend and let them know we are in shame. This can look like “Hey, I’m spinning out in body shame right now. Remind me that I am loveable as I am” or “……..remind me that I am more than a body”.
Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Salt Lake City, UT
Learning to see our SFDs & change them will help you feel more calm as you put on that swimsuit & get into summer living. Changing our beliefs can be hard, but we are here to help. Reach out to our team of therapists if you feel you could use some support & tools in unpacking beliefs that hold you back. Start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these steps:
Contact us or give us a call 801-699-6161
Meet with a caring anxiety therapist
Start changing your story!
Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness
Anxiety treatment isn’t the only service Inside Wellness offers support with addressing. Our team is happy to offer support with other forms of mental health support including eating disorder treatment and body image therapy. Learn more about the support in person or online therapy can offer today by visiting our blog or FAQ today.