We’ve all heard or felt a bit of the winter time blues when the days grow shorter & we brace for those snowy, cold days.
But we rarely talk about what it is like for people who start to fear or dread the long days & summer sun because it has become synonymous with social dread & social anxiety. You know, the people who RSVP to everything, seem effortlessly charming, always post smiling photos at weddings, BBQs, and beach trips. But inside they might be holding their breath, running a mental loop of self-doubt, overanalysis, and fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.
What Is Social Anxiety, Really?
When people hear “social anxiety,” they often picture someone painfully shy, maybe awkward, maybe avoiding all social events.
But that’s just one face of it.
Social anxiety is really about the intense fear of being judged, criticized, or rejected in social situations. It’s the chronic worry that you’ll:
Say something stupid.
Make a mistake.
Look “awkward”.
Be exposed as “not enough” or “too much.”
And here’s the tricky part: you don’t have to look anxious to be anxious.
The Hidden Struggle of High-Functioning Social Anxiety
Some people with social anxiety are actually very social and seem to be good at connecting to others. They often seem very confident, polished, and outgoing on the outside.
But on the inside? They may be suffering from anxiety in many are of their lives, and they typically have an inner critic that is running on overdrive at all times. Because the anxiety or the inner critic seems to be running hot & fast they are often trying to get ahead of it its wrath in an attempt to prevent embarrassment or shame. If you could jump inside of their heads you might see something like this:
They’re rehearsing conversations before they happen, hoping that by rehearsing they will lower the likelihood of saying something that is perceived as “stupid” or wrong
They’re overanalyzing every word they said after the event, replaying various conversation they had. Anxiety has a way of putting us way ahead of the data or revisiting what happened on auto replay. But our anxious & critical brain keeps focusing on verbal or non verbal feedback that is in alignment with their fears or topics that cue up shame.
They’re exhausted from masking their inner nervousness and the fact that most people under estimate or dismiss their struggle due to their external presentation only.
They constantly fear they’re annoying, boring, or disappointing others, which is often self judgment taking a strong hold or fear of the unknown projecting into the future and telling them a story of “what if’s”.
This is often called high-functioning anxiety — where someone looks like they’re managing life beautifully but is internally driven by a motor of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.
Why Is Summer So Tough for Social Anxiety?
Summertime, with its surge of social obligations, vacations, and “fun,” can quietly amplify this struggle.
More social invitations: Weddings, parties, family reunions, beach days, concerts — summer is socially packed.
More body exposure: For many, wearing summer clothes (or swimsuits) can trigger intense self-consciousness.
More comparison: Social media overflows with highlight reels, making people feel like they should be having the “perfect summer” too.
Less downtime: The pressure to keep up, say yes, and stay visible can drain high-functioning anxious people who are already overextended.
Common Beliefs in Social Anxiety
At the root of social anxiety are deep-seated worldviews and self-beliefs, this list is not exclusive nor does it not represent all beliefs or people with social anxiety:
“I must perform perfectly to be accepted.”
“If I’m not interesting, people will reject me.”
“Any awkwardness or mistake will be remembered forever.”
“Everyone is watching and judging me.”
“I can’t let people down or they’ll stop liking me.”
Here’s why these beliefs don’t mix well:
Perfection is impossible → so they constantly feel like they’re falling short.
Human connection forms best when we can be real & authentic → but they’re trying to mask every flaw.
People are generally focused on themselves, not hyper-analyzing you → but an anxious mind assumes the opposite and tells you that you are under the microscope.
Feeling like you have to have it all together or trying hard to stay out of criticism ( perceived or real) can be exhausting and suck the joy out of the experience. When this happens to someone, they often leave social events feeling more alone, tense, and emotionally drained than they were before the event.
So how can you turn this around or support someone who struggles with social anxiety? Here are a few tips for this summertime struggle:
5 Tips for Someone with Social Anxiety
Pause & Check In: Before saying yes to every invite, ask yourself: Do I actually want this, or am I afraid to say no?
Ground Yourself Physically: Before or during events, use grounding techniques — notice your feet on the floor, hold a cool drink, focus on your breath. Anxiety thrives in the mind; grounding anchors you in the body.
Set Time Limits: Give yourself permission to attend part of an event instead of all of it. “I’ll stay for an hour, then leave.”
Challenge Catastrophic Thinking: When you catch yourself overanalyzing (“I sounded so dumb when I said that!”), gently remind yourself: Most people won’t remember, and if they do, they likely don’t care as much as I think.
Schedule Rest Days: Plan “recovery” days between big social events to recharge, especially in a busy season like summer.
4 Tips for Friends & Family: How to Support with Compassion
Don’t Assume They’re Fine Just Because They’re Smiling
Remember, high-functioning anxious people can be pros at appearing to be okay. Check in gently: “Hey, how are you really feeling about this weekend? Want to talk about it?”
Validate Without Fixing
If they open up about their anxiety, resist the urge to dismiss or fix it (“You’re fine! Everyone loves you!”). Instead, try: “That sounds really hard. I can see how much you’re carrying inside.”
Offer Flexibility
Let them know it’s okay if they need to leave early or skip some plans and that your connection doesn’t depend on constant presence or performance.
Be a Safe Person
Sometimes the most powerful support is just being the friend or family member where they can let down the mask, laugh about the awkward moments, and be messy and real.
If you feel like you struggle with social anxiety, summer time anxiety, or know some one who does. Please reach out, you don’t have to do it alone. We are here to offer support & customized tools to help you navigate social situations with more ease. Reach out for help, 801-699-6161 or insidewellness.com
Looking for an Anxiety Therapist in Salt Lake and Provo, UT?
Even if you’re the life of the party on the outside, social anxiety can make summertime feel overwhelming. If you find yourself overthinking every interaction or dreading social plans—you're not broken, and you're not alone. Whether it’s managing the pressure to perform, navigating body image concerns, or just needing space to breathe, therapy for anxiety in Salt Lake City, Provo, & throughout Utah can offer a grounded, compassionate place to recalibrate.
At Inside Wellness, we specialize in helping high-functioning individuals manage anxiety, perfectionism, and the hidden emotional load of “keeping it together.” You deserve support that sees beneath the surface. Here’s how to take the next step:
Book a free consultation or contact us at 801-699-6161
Meet with a compassionate anxiety therapist who understands your experience
Start feeling more at ease in your body, your relationships, and your summer with Inside Wellness!
Other Services Inside Wellness Offers in Provo and Salt Lake City, UT
Social anxiety doesn’t take a summer vacation—and neither do we. At Inside Wellness, we offer more than just eating disorder treatment. From therapy for anxiety, perfectionism, and body image to accessible online therapy across Utah, our services are built to support you through the real-life challenges that don’t always show on the outside. Whether you're juggling packed schedules, social expectations, or the pressure to keep smiling when you’re barely holding it together, we’re here to help. Visit our blog or FAQ to learn more about how therapy can support you through every season—including this one.