Anxiety has become your Achilles heel and the last thing you want to do is do anything that seems like any form of embracing or accepting it.
I hear you, anxiety can be so overpowering in our bodies and in our heads that we want to do almost anything to get out of it, and fast.
You’ve tried to stuff it into the depths of your mind and pretend that you are cool as a cucumber, but the more you pretend to be okay, the more it seems like your anxiety takes over everything.
Befriending our lived experiences can be a life-changing experience because as the saying goes “we cannot tame what we cannot name”. Anxiety requires us to not just name it but to better understand what is happening for us to take steps to help ourselves navigate it with more ease. Here are a few things to keep in mind when you are facing (or wanting to run from) anxiety.
Anxiety Builds With Avoidance
When I was early in my career and working at an eating disorder clinic, the hallmark statement was “the only thing to avoid is avoiding”, which at first made me laugh because it seemed so obvious. But as I thought about it, and watched people struggle, the more I realized that sometimes the instinct we feel without anxiety is to either run from it or shut it all down. After all, when we are feeling something in our bodies or our minds or racing, the last thing we want to do is to sit in those sensations, feelings, and thoughts.
In fact, the mere thought of that sounds overwhelming, daunting, and potentially miserable. The idea here isn’t to just sit in the things that are hard and get stuck in them. The idea is to decrease how we avoid situations or sensations that bring up discomfort. If we are in a pattern of shutting down or running away from what is hard, we are teaching our brains that we cannot handle what is happening. And over time, this will actually increase our levels of anxiety because our brain is learning that the best way to cope is to avoid, which does give short-term relief, AND almost always makes the situation get bigger and more overwhelming to approach later on.
Anxiety Is Trying to Be a Signal & Can Serve a Purpose
If we think of our emotions as signals that are trying to guide us then it can feel less overwhelming to consider looking at what the underlying signal may be. If you are feeling anxious about a presentation to your boss or college class, it is likely that your anxiety is simply trying to communicate that what you are about to do is important and that you care deeply about doing well. This signal can often allow us to carve out the necessary time to do a presentation that will be effective and that we can feel good about.
Anxiety can also be a signal that what we are about to do may be out of our comfort zone and that we want to feel safe or be treated with kindness.
When presenting to a boss or in front of our peers, it is normal and natural to want to be viewed in a positive manner, and the fear of not doing well or fear of being judged also surfaces in our anxiety. Social connection is vital to our emotional well-being, so from an evolutionary standpoint, we need to stay connected to our groups and when our brain fears this may be up for debate, we can often feel anxious about the future or the outcomes.
Anxiety Is a State of Our Biology or Our Patterns
We all have biological needs and responses to the world around us and the world within us. When we are tired or overtired- it is our brain's job to be on high alert for any potential threats to our well-being. It knows we are struggling so it ramps up its efforts to try to see threats or perceived threats even in the absence of actual threats.
Some brains & nervous systems are built more sensitively than others or have experienced circumstances that reinforce their need to be hypervigilant to perceived or actual threats. I think most can relate that it is easier to get scared at night when the lights are out than when it’s the middle of the day. Our bodies can often get stuck in a state of high alert and may send a series of false alerts that make functioning more difficult. Ultimately, we want to explore what the messaging is saying and see if it is falsely linked to something that may be actually safe.
Anxiety Can Change When We Can Befriend It
To not be stuck in anxiety we need to befriend it. The more we can understand what is happening the easier it will be to know how to get it to slow down. For example, when I get overtired, I am more likely to overthink or worry about something that would not typically bother me. When I notice this happening, I try to see what my core fear is at that moment. Is my brain running in circles because it is trying to solve a problem, and if so what problem is it trying to solve? Is the problem mine to actually solve or are there aspects that are out of my control? Is my brain hoping that if it problem is solved well enough, I will feel ”in control “ and bypass uncertainty?
Our brains really love certainty and predictability, so it makes sense that it wants me to move towards a potential solution to gain more certainty, even when that is not possible. When I can remind myself that I am capable of handling uncertainty, and step into self-soothing, my biology will slow down. When my biology slows down, my thinking becomes less rigid, less catastrophic, and more grounded.
Anxiety can often feel like a frenemy, a love-hate sort of relationship.
Letting go of anxiety can feel scary and in some cases may not be realistic or appropriate. However, getting our anxiety to only alert us when there is an actual threat we need to attend to is the goal. And knowing how to respond to it when it is over-firing or on high alert is pivotal to finding peace and having more ease.
Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah
If you feel your anxiety is ruining your peace or that you do not have the tools you need to befriend or approach it, please reach out and get the tools and support you need. Our team of caring therapists are happy to offer support in Provo, Salt Lake City, and across the state. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:
Meet with a caring therapist
Start developing a better relationship with your anxiety!
Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness
Anxiety treatment isn’t the only service offered with the team at Inside Wellness. This is why our team is happy to offer support with a variety of other services including eating disorders, body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!