Tips From A Salt Lake City Eating Disorder Therapist

With summer just around the corner, you find yourself thinking and worrying about your body more than normal.

Going to the grocery store used to come with relative ease. And now you find yourself obsessing about your food choices and the negative comments people make about their bodies.  The internal spin starts to speed up and you want off of this awful merry-go-round.   

As an eating disorder therapist in Salt Lake, I want you to know that we understand that the struggle is real. The chatter that you hear all around you is always about learning to minimize your body and about controlling your food.  And lately, the chatter has become the background noise that is disrupting your happiness. Here are a few tips you can try to challenge the chatter:

Exposure is Everywhere

Remind yourself that there’s a reason this feels so overwhelming. For years, be it in the news, and in the media, you have been saturated with stories and images about weight shape, and size. In response, diet culture has been peddling products and diets to change your body and “your health”. Despite the fact that diets don’t work. Despite the fact that dieting and other behaviors are the catalysts of eating disorders. 

The negative messaging seems like the only truth that exists. Eating disorder therapists see this all the time and we know there’s a better path. So when you start to feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that there is a big backstory to the emotions you are currently feeling. It’s not your fault that you are thinking and feeling this way, and we know you deserve better.

Give yourself permission to eat the food you enjoy, guilt, free!

Well, this may seem like either a brilliant idea or a scary idea to you, or perhaps both! The research is very clear, how we feel about food impacts how our body responds to food.  So if we view food negatively, we have a stress response to it.  Guilt and shame have never been known to improve someone’s mental or physical health in my experience. If we can pull morality out of food, and stop seeing it as “good” or “bad”, we will feel much better.

Returning peace and pleasure back to food allows you to be more attuned to your body and eat in ways that honor its needs and its wants.  This often feels scary to people because diet culture reinforces a belief that our bodies cannot be trusted when in reality the research is clear. We can trust our bodies, it knows when we need a broader array of food, it knows when we are full, it knows when certain foods stop tasting good, and the list goes on. 

Remember that your relationship with your body is a relationship.  

One that will ebb and flow, and change over time. It is similar to all other relationships in your life. Sometimes our relationships are going really well and other times we experience a rough patch.  No relationship counselor would advise you to demean, punish, and control the other person in the relationship.  And those same rules apply when it comes to our bodies.  What will start to heal your relationships is compassion, understanding, and patience. And so it is with your body, you don’t have to always like it in order to treat it kindly and give it the respect and care it needs. Caring for your body means giving yourself permission to enjoy eating and moving in ways that connect you to others and bring you joy.

We understand that trying to re-write your patterns with food and your body can feel like a hero’s journey, and one you aren’t sure you can actually make happen. Healing your relationship with your body and food takes time. Changes are possible. You can recover from your eating disorder, you can stop swimming in body shame, and you can combat the negative messages that have harmed you. 

Begin Working With An Eating Disorder Therapist in Salt Lake City, UT

Changing your relationship with food can take time, patience, and the right support. Our team can help. We are happy to offer support from our Salt Lake-based practice. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

1. Reach out and give us a call at 801-699-6161.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

3. Start creating lasting change!

Other Therapy Services Offered with Inside Wellness

We understand that you may experience other concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why Inside Wellness offers support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

Tips For Finding An Eating Disorder Therapist in Provo, UT

You’re sitting at your desk with the computer browser open. You’ve finally gotten up the courage to Google ‘how to find an eating disorder therapist in Provo’ and then the overwhelm and anxiety suddenly take over.  You don’t even know where to start and you don’t know how to identify who knows what they’re doing. And you certainly have no idea how to determine if the person will be a good fit for you. In your search for an eating disorders therapist in Provo or in Salt Lake City here are a few tips to help you.

Choose someone who is an eating disorder specialist

This one may seem obvious once it said allowed but is often overlooked. The best way to think about this is how we approach any medical issue.  For general concerns, we often see our primary care doctor.  However, when we know we have a specific concern, we seek out a specialist who has extensive training and experience in our situation.  If you are having a baby, you go to an OBGYN because they likely have more training experience delivering babies than your primary care doctor. When your knee injury is intense or prolonged, you see a knee specialist, and the list goes on.  The same idea applies to mental health needs as well. While all provider backgrounds have varying areas of emphasis in their education, all therapists function in a similar capacity.  So it is often more important to look at their post-education experience or training than at the specific degree they earned to become a therapist. 

A specialist in our field is anyone who has spent a significant amount of time increasing their education, skills, and seeking supervision in their areas of expertise. 

For eating disorder therapy, this likely looks like someone who has worked at an eating disorder clinic for a window of time. Or, someone who has extensive training and supervision from someone who is an eating disorder specialist. The same is true for other mental health specialists, if you have unresolved trauma, you want to seek out someone who has specific trauma training.  Specialized care leads to significantly better short-term and long-term outcomes.  I often get asked if it’s okay to choose someone who has a long list of items they can treat. This may be an accurate representation of their knowledge, but it may not reflect the level of time or level of expertise in all of those areas. So feel free to ask them how much time they have spent seeing individuals with the area of expertise you are seeking.    

Ask around 

While the internet can be very helpful in finding a provider that could be a great fit for you, so is your community. In the Provo area, people tend to find a good therapist by word of mouth. This is likely to come from friends,  family members, or community leaders who know a therapist that they’ve liked or that they’ve heard about and have a good reputation. Once you have a few names, look them up and see if their message seems to resonate with you. Feel free to reach out and contact their office to find out more about the therapist to see who’s a good fit. If you find yourself still being unsure, feel free to set up a phone consultation with the therapist to get a sense of them. Occasionally I’ll have a new client who discloses in the first session that they are seeing a few therapists that week and then choosing the one they like best.  This is your therapy and we want you to feel connected and comfortable with whomever you feel is the best fit for you.

Look at the logistics

Finding a therapist that has a correct skill set and is a good personality fit is essential, and so are the logistics.  Therapy is typically done weekly, so finding someone that is easily accessible is key.  It may be helpful to consider if you want an in-person therapist or a virtual provider, both have their pros and cons. Scheduling is another key component. It’s helpful to look at your schedule and find a provider whose appointment time frames match your work or school needs. 

Of course, if you are in college, we understand that your schedule will change each semester, but you may want to ask the provider how they manage those changes so you find someone you can see in back-to-back semesters. And lastly, finding a good fit for your financial situation. Sometimes in the hurry to get help going, this can be overlooked. It’s perfectly okay to be upfront with the provider about your needs.  Any provider you contact wants to make sure that their fee works for both your short-term and long-term financial needs. So if cash pay will work for you for a month or two but not down the road, give them that information when you make your first point of contact. 

If the person(s) you reach out to isn’t a good fit for you on that front, they will likely know who may have the skillset you need who takes your insurance, or whose fee is a better fit for you.  We are here to help you find a good fit, even if it isn’t with us. 

Begin Working with an Eating Disorder Therapist in Provo, UT Today!

While finding the right provider for you in Provo can feel overwhelming, please reach out to our team and let us give you a hand. Inside Wellness is committed to helping you get the care you need to begin to find peace again with food and your body. Help is available, and you can start your therapy journey by following these steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our services and our team.

3. Start finding the right therapeutic fit for you!

Other Therapy Services Offered With Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to eating disorders. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services including body image counseling, anxiety therapy, and online Therapy in Utah.

What Your Eating Disorder Therapist Wants You to Know About Janurary

You just go through the holidays, and now you are entrenched in the cultural chatter of all things New Year’s “goals”.  People cannot stop talking about the amazing things they are planning to do this year, and of course and unfortunately, you are being bombarded with diet culture talk about weight loss, pursuing “health” in ways that are really diet culture in disguise, and you are feeling all of the uncomfortable feels. 

You are unsure who to talk to because people don’t understand that not jumping on this bandwagon is 20x’s harder for you than joining them.  If they only knew your history, you hope they’d understand that what they are saying is activating your eating disorder thoughts in a big way.  Please know that while others may not get it, every provider that understands eating disorders is pulling for you because we know that Thanksgiving end of January can be a long, triggering, and exhausting time for you.  And while we know you can keep moving forward, we understand the degree of difficulty you are facing right now.

First and foremost, it’s okay to not participate in this process at all. And if you do want to participate in the process I’d suggest trying it in a new way. 

Choose a word for the year, not a list of goals. 

In general, New Year’s goals or resolutions tend to be lofty aims people set for themselves that typically are unrealistic and only last a short window of time.  They often endorse the all-or-nothing thought patterns that you are working to unpack within eating disorder recovery and outside of it too.  A few options that would support your recovery but could extend beyond it could be: self-care, being flexible, rest & play, being mindful, and self-compassion to name a few.  Many people choose a word or a theme instead of goals because they feel it is more realistic and allows for imperfections as it is an aim instead of an exact outcome.

Remember that the phrase “health” is a broad umbrella.

You are working on prioritizing your physical and mental health, in different ways than what others may be talking about right now, but equally if not more difficult than people will ever realize.   Healing your relationship with food & your body is such hard work. Down the road, you will be so grateful for the work you are doing because in time, it will allow food to be a topic that no longer causes such distress, but in time come with ease. 

Once again, many people will not get how hard it is for you to eat your challenge foods, to eat meals & snacks consistently, to exercise less and not more, and whatever else your eating disorder dietician and treatment team is having you work on.  So if you do feel pressured to “choose” a health aim (this often occurs in work or school settings), choose from the broader umbrella which includes:  sleep, stress management, mindfulness, meditation, relaxation, rest & play(yes, this one is super helpful for our nervous system), embracing imperfections, and self-compassion to name a few. 

All of these have science-based outcomes that improve our mental and physical health. If you are with people who are safe and know your history, you can share something your treatment team is having you work towards.  We know it’s hard to be in these conversations, and we know it’s hard to not participate in certain settings, so this is just an option of a way you can participate if you feel it’s appropriate to do so. Also, feel free to opt out of these conversations altogether if that will support your recovery best.

Seek Support Frequently

When you feel activated or triggered by comments people are making in a group setting or one on one make sure you seek support.  If you can speak up and set a boundary in the moment, that’s awesome.  But if that isn’t realistic or is too overwhelming, text a friend who gets it and let them know you need to be reminded to keep working on YOUR recovery or to be reminded that the diet culture chatter you are hearing now is echoing your eating disorder thoughts and that you need their help to get out of your head or the conversation that’s triggering you.

Be extra gentle with yourself

January is my least favorite month of the year because I know it is a trigger fest for all of my clients who are trying so hard to fight their eating disorder thoughts and longstanding behavioral patterns.  In my weekly sessions, I hear about how hard it is to hear people making comments that contributed to the start of your own eating disorder, or that make you want to run back to it.  Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that in a few weeks, people will return back to their normal living and that the external triggers and chatter will die down. 

You can do this, and it’s okay to struggle, to increase your self-care, and to seek more support than you think you might need in order to survive. If you hit a setback, know that it’s just a setback.  Eating disorder recovery is a journey that is not a clear-cut, straight line. It’s messy, has many setbacks and many strides forward, and can be done!  Share your struggles and setbacks with your team, we are here to help during your session time, and we are certainly mindful of you & cheering you on from the sidelines this month in between your appointments.  

Begin Working With an Eating Disorder Therapist in Utah

If you were doing well, but experiencing a setback in your eating disorder recovery don’t hesitate to reach out and seek help again. Our team of caring eating disorder therapists would be honored to support you in overcoming your eating disorder. If you are realizing that you may have an eating disorder, help is available. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

1. Contact us or give us a call 801-699-6161.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

3. Get set up with a counselor who is right for you!

Other Services Offered with Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to eating disorder treatment. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, anxiety treatment, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog for more helpful information today!

Putting “Peace” Back in the Holidays

You’re sitting in the living room looking at the half-decorated Christmas tree that you haven’t gotten around to finishing yet as you study the checklist of gifts and names and try to remember who you’ve forgotten. No one else wants to help decorate this year, but you know everyone expects to come home to a house that feels like Christmas. To your right is a tall stack of Christmas cards that still need to be stuffed and addressed. A sense of dread grows as you think of all the things you still need to get done by Christmas. 

You used to love Christmas! Remember when it all felt so much simpler?

Remember when there were fewer people on your list? When you only had to show up at your parent’s house with a few gifts and enjoy a beautiful meal that others had worked so hard to prepare? Now you are the one who prepares most of the holiday meal, and you are the one stressing about creating a seating chart at dinner and who to put where.  You know your aunt “Cheryl” will verbalize negative beliefs about food & bodies, and you want to shelter your niece from her comments because she is recovering from an eating disorder. When did it all become so complicated and overwhelming? It feels like it’s impossible to keep everyone happy, no matter how hard you try. 

You bring up ideas about “simplifying” the holidays with your family, but no one listens to you. Everyone wants nothing to change, even though you know everything is changing and you can’t make it stop. You feel so overwhelmed with all the things you have to get done, and it’s hard to enjoy the moments that you work so hard to create. So how can you regain a sense of peace and joy during the holiday season?

Here are some ideas about how to have a little more calm in our Christmas. 

Let go of perfect and embrace good enough

If you find yourself feeling like nothing is ever quite good enough, or you are spending way too much time on details that may not have a significant impact on what matters most to you, you may be a perfectionist. Reminding yourself of what is most important and letting the other things go, can go a long way in helping you to find more peace. Having unrealistically high expectations of yourself and others can bring frustration, judgment, and even depression. Try practicing gratitude, and look at setbacks or failures as opportunities for growth and learning. Resist the temptation to constantly compare yourself to others. When you find yourself comparing, ask yourself, “does this make me feel better or worse?” Make an effort to surround yourself with people and influences that inspire you and make you feel uplifted and positive. 

Minimize your obligations and prioritize the things that are important to you

The holidays can be a busy time, and we can often find ourselves spending time doing things we don’t want to out of a sense of obligation. It’s important to prioritize the things that are most important or valuable to you and set boundaries around your time and energy. Pay attention to feelings of resentment. If you resent doing something, it may not be something you actually want to do, or you may be doing it for the wrong reasons. Ask yourself if the thing you resent is something you really want to do, and why you are doing it. If you are only doing it because someone else wants you to and you fear disappointing them, you may need to reconsider. 

Let people be disappointed if necessary

It’s hard to disappoint people, especially if you believe that it’s your job to keep everyone around you happy. But remember, you are not responsible for things that you can’t control, and you can’t control other people’s feelings. All you can control is your actions. Fearing that you will disappoint others can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout. It can be very uncomfortable setting boundaries, telling people no, and seeing them disappointed. But it’s important to remind yourself that “uncomfortable” is not the same thing as “dangerous.” If you can reframe your fear as uncomfortable, but not dangerous, you will be more likely to be able to tolerate it instead of avoiding it at all costs. 

Simplify and ask for help

When we start feeling resentful, that can be a sign that we’ve taken on too much. Resentment is telling us that we probably need to ask for help or simplify. Figure out what things are the most important to you, and the things that are less important. Focus your time and energy on the things you value. If family members or others care a lot about things that are less important to you, invite them to help or take over those tasks. If they are unwilling to help, it may not actually be a priority for them either. When you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, reach out for support. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or find a good therapist. Sharing your feelings with someone in a safe environment can help ease feelings of anxiety and depression. 

Prioritize your favorite things about the holiday and relish them

When you feel overwhelmed it can be hard to live in the moment and find joy in the holiday season. Take some time to think about your favorite holiday traditions, activities, or memories. What is it about those things that were so special to you? Make sure that you prioritize those things you enjoy most and set aside time in your calendar. And when you do them, try to stay in the moment. Think about what you are experiencing. Notice the smells, sensations, sights, and sounds. Let yourself linger in those moments. 

Take time for yourself every day

When it already feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day, it can be hard to set aside time for yourself. But make sure you have special time for yourself every day can make a huge difference in how you feel. It may only be 10 or 15 minutes. You may use that time to write in your journal, stretch, meditate, read, exercise, or take a bubble bath. Find something that recharges you and feels special. Be protective about that time and prioritize it above everything else. Prioritizing yourself is what allows you to live your life smoothly and effectively, so you can bring your best to whatever priorities and challenges come your way. Tending to your own physical and psychological needs is one of the best holiday gifts you can give. Not only to yourself but to everyone around you.

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Salt Lake City

If you find yourself feeling more overwhelmed than normal, or if you anticipate you’re going to be reeling from the holidays once they are over, don’t hesitate to reach out and get support.  Life can be a balancing act, and our team of caring therapists would be honored to support you in making the most of the holiday season. You can start your therapy journey with Inside Wellness by following these simple steps:

1. Contact Inside Wellness by scheduling an appointment or calling 801-699-6161.

2. Meet with a caring therapist

3. Start enjoying a more peaceful holiday season!

Other Services Offered at Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to anxiety counseling. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, eating disorder therapy, and online Therapy in Utah. Feel free to visit our blog or FAQ to learn more helpful information!

Holiday Whiplash

Holiday Whiplash - 3 tips to help you cope   

You’re staring down the holidays and you are already feeling dread. 

The emotional whiplash you are feeling about your body & food from Thanksgiving weekend is already doing you in and you aren’t sure how you are going to get through finals, work parties, and family functions that all involve foods that look amazing the sheer volume of events & foods still makes you panic.  Or even if you’ve made peace with your body and foods, you still get thrown off by the crazy comments people seem to save up and share with wild abandon for this six-week stretch of time.  The angst, overwhelm, and dread is making you want to skip them all, but you are tired of your life being run by fearing food & social gatherings.  You are determined to attend but you need a few pointers to stay grounded.

Let’s get back to the basics:

Breath-

While we do this automatically, when we get anxious or overwhelmed, our nervous system speeds things up.  Our bodies speed up, and our brains speed up. And as our brains speed up we kick into the unhelpful, but ever so convincing thinning errors that amplify our emotions.  This looks like jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, etc.  This isn’t a character flaw to have intense and distorted thoughts in these moments, it’s just how human brains work when in distress. So you really do need to intentionally breathe.  Slowing down your breathing will slow down your nervous system.  As your system & body slows down, so does your thinking.  And as your thinking slows down so do your thoughts. Thoughts with fewer distortions in them are WAY more manageable than thoughts in high distress.  You can simply breathe out, take a slow breath in, and breathe out.

Some people do better to have a pattern or saying to follow, so if that’s you, then picture blowing out a candle, then breathing in the smell of flowers, back to the candles, and so on.  It only takes a few sets of breathing to start to get your body to help you out.  If you feel like you are really spun out, then open a breathing or meditation app and do any version that targets panicky feelings.  On the app Calm, there is a 3, 5, or 10 min “emergency calm” that will guide you through this process.

Litte kids remind us we can trust our bodies.

Babies & toddlers are prime examples of how we are hardwired for survival.  They instinctively know how to eat, how to sleep, and how to express their feelings.  We know this because it’s easy to see when they get over-hungry, or over-tired.  They fuss, cry, scream or go into full-out meltdown mode until their basic needs are met with food, sleep, and support/comfort.  When they are on the cusp of a growth spurt, they eat & sleep more. When they are learning a new skill such as walking, they fall down, get scared and cry out for support, comfort, and encouragement.  They don’t count calories, they don’t understand anything about nutrition or sleep, they just came hardwired to stay alive and thrive, and so do you! They trust that speaking up and reaching out is not only okay but vital.

Ask for support- 

This one when said aloud seems obvious, however, we often don’t think to set this up in advance, and sometimes in anxiety & overwhelm we can find ourselves shutting down and pulling back.  So take an inventory of which events will be more anxiety-provoking on the social dynamics front, and which ones may be tougher on the food fear front.  Talk to your person(s) in advance and let them know where & why you think your emotions may be activated.  Let them know what type of response you have when these moments surface.  Sometimes we need to talk about our feelings at length. Other times we just need to text someone with a synopsis of what happened and for them to say something comforting or grounding to us in response.  Regardless of how you need support, all humans do better in the presence of love & support.  We are hardwired for connection, so please don’t go it alone.  

Rember to take things one day or one event at a time.

If you feel you need extra support now or after the holidays, you are not alone.  Eating disorder treatment takes time, recovery is always possible and will come the more you practice new ways of coping.  This is a very fun AND stressful time of the year.  If you are looking for an eating disorder therapist, we are here for you, give us a call.

Begin Working With An Eating Disorder Therapist Or Anxiety Therapist

The holidays can bring on a lot of stress, but you don’t have to face it alone. Our team of caring therapists would be happy to support you in remaining grounded this season. You can start your therapy journey with in-person or online therapy across the state of Utah for ease of access and convenience. If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

3. Get set up with a counselor who is right for you!

Other Services Offered With Inside Wellness

Our team understands you may experience a number of mental health concerns in addition to anxiety counseling. This is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services. Other services offered include body image counseling, eating disorder therapy, and online Therapy in Utah.

Anxiety about Speaking Up: Thoughts from an Anxiety Therapist in Utah

The text thread has arrived, and you’re watching the three little dots appear. The responses and honesty of others arrive you feel equal parts envious that they’ve shared their opinions, and yet terrified that you won’t be able to do the same. You open up the thread to start to type and toggle between that and your notes section on your phone because you’re scared to get this wrong and the cycle of anxiety begins.

Anxiety About Sharing Your True Feelings

You are so worried that sharing what you think, feel, or need. You're fearful about the onslaught of opinions that may be in opposition to yours or feeling dismissed. Your anxiety has taken hold, you have a lump in your throat, your thoughts are racing, and you haven’t even started to write out your thoughts because you don’t want to look stupid with those 3 dots coming and going with the 10 drafts you know you’ll attempt to write. 

Struggling to find the right way of saying “I can’t make it at that time, can we meet later?” or whatever normal request others often make because of your guilt & angst about this request that is swallowing you whole. 

Fear of Being Seen As High Maintenance

You just can’t understand how people do not feel as anxious as you feel about making an ask, stating what’s true about your availability,  or asking for a minor modification to the original plan.  You’re fearful of being “too much”, of being perceived as “high maintenance” and while you are as accommodating as it comes, you STRUGGLE to ask and allow others to provide you a small portion of what you give to them.  Just thinking about the holiday texts threads is making your palms sweaty, and it's not even December yet! 

Therapy for Anxiety in Utah Can Help Overcome This Cycle

You know you “should” not be so worried, stressed, or anxious about what others will think, but despite logic and the re-assurances of others, you cannot just magically make it go away. Why does speaking up, even in a text, feel so threatening? And can this become any less stressful and anxiety-provoking?  The answer is yes, this can get better with help from our compassionate team of anxiety therapists at Inside Wellness!

Here are a few tips from an Anxiety Therapist to help you find more ease in speaking up:

• Remember that your biology & beliefs are at play:

  Work with them not against them.  Acknowledge, thank them, and then say what you need to say.  When our bodies know we are out of our comfort zones, and skill sets we experience or perceive situations as threats, and then our biology goes into overdrive. 

  If we do a throwback to caveman days- hearing, smelling, or seeing something new on the horizon keys up our nervous system to assess the threat level so our bodies not how to fight, flee or stay safe (and in place).   In the here and now, we’d call that our Fight, Flight, or Freeze nervous system responses.

• In and Out of the Nervous System States

  All of us spend time being in and out of all nervous system states, but it seems that those who hit into flight or freeze quickest, tend to have higher levels of anxiety when it comes to speaking up.  This is not your fault, likely your biology paired with some beliefs that have led to speaking up=serious threats on the horizon, and can feel like we are being “chased by a bear” so to speak. 

  And so as you start to type what you need or want, you just might feel like the other opinions on the thread are the bear and your body fears that hitting the send button might send the bears chasing you back into your cave. And when our biology runs high or we feel like we are about to be chased by a bear, our beliefs will follow. 

• Thoughts Patterns Follow Our Biological Response

  This means if our body goes into high alert, our thought patterns will follow that flow and match telling us negative messages about the outcomes, even if we can logically reason the bad things won’t happen or harm us (ie if someone disagrees with a preference). Give yourself the biology & belief contexts, and it can free you up to see that while you feel super uncomfortable.  Verbally remind yourself that everyone benefits when you share your opinion, even the bears on the other end of the text thread;).

• State, Don’t Explain: 

  This is a fan favorite so to speak, one for which I can take no credit, but one that I saw play out, ironically in a text thread.  Instead of sharing what you need or would like, accompanied with a long explanation or series of emojis as to your why simply state the bottom line of what does or does not work for you. 

  This can be super challenging and anxiety-provoking for those of you who fear being misunderstood or judged, or fill-in-the-blank-fear-thought that is bubbling up as you are reading this blog.  So let's say that you are invited to something you don’t want to do for whatever reason.  Instead of making up an excuse, for why it doesn't work in your schedule or budget, simply state the bottom line politely and concisely. 

• When I saw it in action, it went something like this: 

   Friend A sent out an invitation for something she wanted to do with everyone on the thread.  Friend B shared a 3 paragraph text filled with explanations and emojis about why she couldn’t do said event.  Friend C, (who gets all the credit for this skill), responded with “We can’t make it, thanks for the invite, have a blast”.   Ironically Friend C, who stated vs explained, got a thumbs up and a “we’ll miss you” response from Friend A. 

  Friend A went on to respond to Friend B by shooting holes through her explanation and offering ways to make the plans work. Since I was with friend B right after she responded she verbalized that she really didn’t want to participate but didn’t know how to say that so she assumed if she explained herself Friend A would understand. Needless to say, the explanation approach led to more anxiety not less for Friend B.

Needless to say, I embraced this skill and ran with it.  I’ve been teaching it ever since.  I think you’ll be surprised about how little pushback you’ll get when you state your bottom line in this way.

Practice These Skills With Help From an Anxiety Therapist

• Speaking up when you are anxious not only takes practice but it is a practice.  Circling back to biology and beliefs, the more you practice a skill your biology will stop recognizing it as a threat on the horizon and it will become less scary. We experience this in many areas of life, such as the first time you drove a car, to driving in the here and now; anxiety will diminish with time & practice. In time your anxiety can lessen and you can speak(or text) with ease & confidence as well.  

Therapy for Anxiety Can Help!

Changing our biology, and beliefs, and learning how to put new skills into place is hard.  If we want to learn to play the piano, we take lessons and we practice.  Learning how to speak up when you have anxiety hits, can also benefit from an outside perspective and customized skills, Anxiety can ease, and things can get better. Therapy for Anxiety can help, don’t hesitate to get the help you need now.

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah

Are you afraid to express your true thoughts and needs with the people in your life? Do those text threads send you into an anxious spiral? We are happy to say that you've come to the right place. You don’t have to continue struggling with your anxiety alone. Our counselors at Inside Wellness are highly-skilled and experienced professionals who can help you get the treatment you need to regain control of your life.

If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and our anxiety therapists.

3. Get set up with an anxiety therapist who is right for you!

Additional Mental Health Services Offered at Inside Wellness

Here at Inside Wellness, we provide a variety of online counseling services including counseling for body image, self-esteem, and eating disorders. Learn more about the specific services we offer below.

• Body Image Therapy

• Eating Disorder Treatment

• Online Therapy Anywhere in Utah

• Therapy for Anxiety

The 3 C's to Supporting Yourself When You Are Experiencing Anxiety

Some days your anxiety feels like a pebble in your shoe, making things more challenging & uncomfortable but not ruining your day. Other times, it feels like it's swallowing you whole.  You have that sense of overwhelm, dread, and sick-pit feeling in your stomach. It sometimes builds up slowly and other times it hits you like a ton of bricks when you least expect it. 

You may be anxious about obvious topics, such as finals, a work deadline, or an important family event but other times you don’t know why you feel unsettled or stressed about sharing what you need from your friends or family. It seems like everyone but you go about their day with more ease, and so when the anxiety starts to build, so does your self-judgment & shame.

It’s Not as Simple as “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

You are tired of people giving you logic about your anxiety because you already know what they will say. You might even agree or understand what they are saying, but logic land is never where we get stuck.  It emotional land where things tend to go wrong south, leaving us feeling swamped.  

If the Nike slogan actually worked for mood regulation, you already would’ve put it into action. If it really was as simple as  “don’t worry, be happy” you would have mastered this skill a long time ago.  However, minimizing or invalidating our emotions does not make them go away or lessen the intensity. So when it comes to unwanted anxiety, I’d suggest taking a different approach. I like to call these the 3 C’s of emotional support.

What Are the 3 C’s?

1- Context

Context is what allows us to understand the broader picture and can provide space for us to better understand it. We do this in school as we seek to understand what a professor is looking for in an assignment, we do this at work to better understand the vision/expectation from our boss/client for the project we expedited to complete. And we do it in relationships so we can have clear communication and fewer misunderstandings. We gather context all of the time when we are communicating with others. 

Asking questions to gain insight

If someone we know is upset, we ask questions to see what events may have occurred that spurred on change in emotions. We seek to know their history to see what things in the past may be getting activated in the present. And we often seek information about current stressors or circumstances outside of the cited stressor or shift in mood. We do this because we care, we want to understand, and the more we know, the more helpful we can be. The same is true for doing this self-assessment, but we frequently bypass this process because it doesn’t occur to us to check in with ourselves. Or we are spinning in anxiety & sinking self-judgment or giving ourselves the “Nike” slogan speech, even though history shows us it doesn’t seem to work.  

2-Curiosity

This may be my favorite phrase, but why? Well, curiosity is the gateway to discovery, and the first step in challenging judgment & blame. When we can slow down enough and get curious, our brain starts to shift us into flexible thinking, it’s open to more than one narrative or reason,  and our nervous system can begin to settle. While getting curious does not always land us at any given answer or place of clarity, it will allow us to slow our emotions down. 

Judgment Can Increase the Intense Emotions Related to Anxiety

Feeling anxious is already incredibly uncomfortable but when we throw judgment into the mix, it’s like adding fuel to the fire so to speak. Emotions mixed with judgment only equal more intense emotions, and we often shift into an overall downward spiral, which is harder to pull out of than just the current anxieties. If we assume that there is a valid and understandable reason for our feelings, then we are much more likely to understand ourselves better which leads to C number 3.

3-Compassion

The gift we need to give ourselves more often. When I talk to people about the compassion they feel for a friend or loved one who is struggling, they give a nod, or warm acknowledgment that compassion is not only a value of theirs and a natural response when we see someone in a struggle.  But when the phrase “self-compassion” comes out of my mouth, it elicits the deer-in-the-headlights, the eye-roll reaction,  or the puzzled-what-is-your-point reaction, all of which are so palpable. There is instant resistance or fear of what this means and how or why to do it. 

Self-Compassion is a Skill We Need to Practice

Self-compassion is not just a cheesy exercise I’m inviting my clients to do that makes them squirm.  It is a skill and a practice that improves mood and mental health.  When we can make sense of our experience our brain actually releases a chemical cascade that calms our nervous system. It’s similar to when we share our feelings with someone we trust, and they communicate that our feelings are valid or make sense.  We immediately feel seen and understood even if the problem cannot be resolved. However,  when someone tells us not to feel what we are feeling, or tells us that we “shouldn’t” feel that way we often experience a spike in our emotions.  

The Best Friend Test

One way to apply self-compassion is what I call the “best friend test”.  If your best friend just shared with you the same feelings & context that you are currently feeling, what would be your honest response to them?  Would you honor their feelings? Would you understand that even if the emotions are more intense than the situation seems to be, they must be over-stressed, over-tired, or hit up against a hot topic for them? 

Supportive Words and Validation in the Face of Anxiety

In my experience, the answer is yes.  We would absolutely show up with supportive words, validation, and support.  We would help them feel soothed & supported before we would expect them to shift their emotions.  And we trust that usually once they feel heard, their emotions come down and they are able to problem-solve well.  However, if the best friend test feels out of reach right now then circle back to context, it is your first clue and step towards self-compassion and away from self-judgment.

Closing Thoughts from an Anxiety Therapist in Utah

Cultivating the 3 C’s takes time. Anxiety can get better, you can have a better life. At Inside Wellness, our team of skilled therapists is here to help You overcome this unachievable desire to be perfect in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. You ARE worth it! Follow the steps below to get started.

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah

Has anxiety hit you like a ton of bricks and you just can’t shake it? We can help you lift that weight off your shoulders. You don’t have to continue struggling alone with your anxiety alone. Our counselors at Inside Wellness are highly-skilled and experienced professionals who can help you get the treatment you need to regain control of your life.

If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and our anxiety therapists.

3. Get set up with an anxiety therapist who is right for you!

Additional Mental Health Services Offered at Inside Wellness

Here at Inside Wellness, we provide a variety of online counseling services including counseling for body image, self-esteem, and eating disorders. Learn more about the specific services we offer below.

• Body Image Therapy

• Eating Disorder Treatment

• Virtual EMDR Therapy

• Online Therapy Anywhere in Utah

• Therapy for Anxiety

When Your Anxiety Throws You For a Loop: Thoughts from an Anxiety Therapist in Utah

You are on the edge of a deadline, you’ve been thinking through all the ways you could tackle the expectations or the project. Yet as you sit down to execute you vacillate between drawing a blank and being flooded with a million ways you could or should approach it all.  You logically know that there is no right or wrong way to complete the task and that it will likely all turn out okay, but you can-not-turn-off-your-brain from the non-stop anxiety loop that is ruining your day.  

The Anxiety Loop

You’re tired of knowing the “right” answer, meaning your logical brain that tells you “shouldn’t” be worried about x,y, or z, but that never stops your brain from running in circles endlessly on a path you didn’t ask to be on. Your brain isn’t anxious or worried about every aspect of your life at this moment, rather it seems to be an anxious loop or what an anxiety therapist would label as rumination. 

What is Rumination?

So what is rumination exactly, and why can’t you just will your way out of it? Well, rumination is a form of anxiety that is focused on an upcoming event, conversation, etc. OR it’s reliving a past mistake, conversation, or outcome. The anxious thoughts and sensations are repetitive and on a repeated loop. It’s most likely to happen when we are caught off guard, kick into regret or shame, or fear a potential negative threat or outcome. 

Our brains were meant to keep us safe, and when they kick into overdrive (cue anxiety), they tend to over-alert us to the pain or perceived pain in an attempt to try to protect us. It is well intended, and yet the anxiety loop or rumination is unhelpful.

At Inside Wellness, our caring and compassionate therapists can help break the cycle of rumination so you can get back to living your best life.

Here are a few ways to slow it down and hop off of the anxiety loop you wish you weren’t on.

Assess your physical vulnerabilities & address them as quickly as possible. 

I think we can all agree that when any given 3 y.o. has a meltdown about almost anything, the majority of the time they are over-tired, hungry, or overwhelmed by new circumstances or people.  As adults, we are often having a similar experience, when our body does not have what it needs when it needs it, an internal meltdown starts to happen. So grab some food, get your power nap on, or at least give yourself permission to take a break and give your body more support and a little grace.

Get curious about the anxiety loop. 

Curiosity is often the key to helping your brain to hop off of the anxiety loop.  It can give us the needed information to identify and gain context as to what started the anxiety & rumination in the first place.  Sometimes we are over-tired when the anxiety loop began, sometimes we are over-stressed when the loop began, and sometimes we were caught off guard by the circumstances that set it off.  

Slow down your body & your mind. 

This one is easier said than done, am I right? If only it was that simple, and yet sometimes it actually is the key.  As we slow our bodies & minds down, our thought processes will often slow down with it. Simply put,  emotions love themselves, so slowing down allows our emotions to lose some momentum. 

Some days this may look like standing up & stretching instead of looking at the computer screen while working on your project. Sometimes this looks like slowly breathing out, then back in a few times over until your perspective zooms out.  And sometimes it’s gently inviting your anxious thought loop to slow down and show you if you are scared, in shame, or hoping to feel a sense of certainty or control. Knowing the function of your loop can guide you to getting your needs better met.

Get out of your head and get connected.

Phone a friend, text, or snap chat & let someone you are feeling stuck with. When we are in a place of worry, fear, shame, or self-judgment our emotions can get really big. Often our knee-jerk reaction is to pretend like we are fine and hope that our emotions & anxiety loop will just resolve themselves. But since humans are hardwired for connection, we often need the connection to help challenge the loop, validate our emotions, or provide some type of engagement or support to lessen the power of the anxiety loop. 

Closing Thoughts From an Anxiety Therapist

Let’s face it, running in circles in any aspect of life feels exhausting.  And the anxiety loops are like being on a roller-coaster that you know you don’t want to be on.   It’s normal to sometimes get caught on an occasional anxiety loop especially when life gets hectic.  But if you feel like you frequently experience anxiety, then maybe it’s time to try a more hands-on approach.  Therapy for Anxiety in Utah can help, we know you can have more freedom from your anxiety than you currently do.  

Begin Therapy for Anxiety in Utah

Are you stuck in an anxiety loop with no escape in sight? We are happy to say that you've come to the right place. You don’t have to continue struggling alone with your anxiety alone. Our counselors at Inside Wellness are highly-skilled and experienced professionals who can help you get the treatment you need to regain control of your life.

If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and our anxiety therapists.

3. Get set up with an anxiety therapist who is right for you!

Additional Mental Health Services Offered at Inside Wellness

Here at Inside Wellness, we provide a variety of online counseling services including counseling for body image, self-esteem, and eating disorders. Learn more about the specific services we offer below.

• Body Image Therapy

• Eating Disorder Treatment

• Online Therapy Anywhere in Utah

• Therapy for Anxiety

How To Keep Halloween from Haunting Your Eating Disorder Recovery

Halloween and Eating Disorders Can be Tricky

Kids and grownups alike get excited about the costumes, the candy, and all of the festivities that come with Halloween.

But for anyone struggling with recovering from diet culture, or recovering from an eating disorder, food-based holidays like Halloween can bring struggles all of their own.

While other people enjoy the fun and festivities of the Holiday season, these same celebrations can make you feel overwhelmed, anxious, and in a panic. Don’t let the panic win! At Inside Wellness we understand the struggle people with eating disorders face during the holiday season and our skilled team of therapists is here to help you navigate these challenges!

Eating Disorders and Negative Thoughts

For years you were told by others or your eating disorder that certain foods were unsafe or to be avoided altogether. And if that was impossible, then only eat in small amounts, which means they will be wrapped in a heavy dose of guilt and shame. You want to just show up on Halloween and enjoy the party, but your head is swirling with negative chatter of judgment from yourself or others.

Establishing a Balanced Approach

Is there a way you can establish a more balanced approach to food connected to the Holiday season? Is it really possible for you to not emotionally spin out in fear & shame? Can you really show up at the party, or buy the candy and actually enjoy it without fearing the need to restrict or compensate for the festivities? The answer is YES!!

Here are a few tips to help you make Halloween fun again:

• One day, one week, or one holiday (even if extended over time), cannot make or break your health, body shape, or size

• Holidays and the associated food are intended to be a source of enjoyment and connection, so take the risk and enjoy the moment

• Kick the food and morality police to the curb, they do nothing more than kill you joy & wreak havoc in your brain

• Set boundaries with others who engage in guilt or shame talk about holidays. If that’s not your style or you’ve tried that and it wasn’t well received, remind yourself that what they say is their fears (or misinformation), but it does not have to be yours.

• Trust all bodies. Our bodies know what they need, and when they feel satisfied. So if that's a piece of candy or so many pieces of candy that you've lost count, that’s okay too. Your body can handle what each holiday has to offer.

Navigating Holidays With an Eating Disorder, There is Hope

Always remember that holidays can be tricky, pun intended. The hope is that with each holiday, and each year, you will find more ease & self-compassion woven into each holiday season.

Begin Eating Disorder Therapy in Utah

Are you struggling with chaotic eating patterns? Eating Disorder Treatment in at Inside Wellness in Utah can help break the cycle of chaos and help you find peace in your relationship with food. Our counselors are highly-skilled and experienced professionals who can help you get the treatment you need to regain control of your life.

If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and our therapists.

3. Get set up with an anxiety therapist who is right for you!

Additional Mental Health Services Offered at Inside Wellness

Here at Inside Wellness, we provide a variety of online counseling services including counseling for body image, self-esteem, eating disorders, and anxiety. Learn more about the specific services we offer below.

• Anxiety Treatment

• Body Image Therapy

• Online Therapy in Utah 

Embracing Imperfections

The Desire For Perfection

The desire to be and appear perfect is increasingly common, especially in Western culture.  It might be a desire for the perfect family, the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect skin, the perfect makeup, the perfect clothes, the perfect house, the perfect marriage, and the perfect personality. Our Therapists at Inside Wellness in Utah understand these pressures and are here to help you overcome the desire for perfectionism.

Perfectionism Does Not Equal Happiness

You may tell yourself that if you could just be more perfect, you’d be happier, better liked or respected, or accepted. That your life would just be better.

The pursuit of perfection, however, has been proven to lead to anything but the above. It adds an enormous amount of anxiety and pressure to lives that our already stressful and demanding. 

It is possible to accept and love yourself for being imperfect. Which, let’s face it, all of us are. And even if - by some miracle - you manage to convince others that you are perfect in some way, that belief is almost never reflected internally. You can appear perfect to others, and feel anything but perfect inside.

Society’s Push for Comparison

Our society seems to thrive on comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s celebrities, social media, colleagues, or friends, we are actively encouraged to compare ourselves to others multiple times a day. Often, you don’t even realize you’re doing it. And usually, you find yourself lacking in some way.

Maybe your accomplishments or skills may never seem to you to be as noteworthy as others. Or you constantly see your body or your skin’s imperfections and resent them. You love all the times your marriage is going great…and then hate it when a challenge arises.

If you’re aiming for perfection, nothing will ever satisfy your expectations of yourself. But admitting that you are not perfect can feel like you’re giving up.

Acceptance of Self Through Therapy for Perfectionism

The reality, however, is that accepting and even embracing your imperfections does not mean you’re complacent or that you’ve given up. You have dreams, hopes, and goals outside of your desire for perfection - these dreams are the same whether you accept you’re imperfect or not.

Accepting your imperfections actually frees you to devote more time and energy to the pursuit of these dreams, without the pressure and anxiety or having the outcome tied to your feelings of self-worth.

How Can You Accept and Even Learn to Appreciate Your Imperfections?

The first step is to identify in which areas of your life you’re trying to appear or be perfect.

Once you’ve identified those, write them down. Think about why you want to appear perfect so much. Is it pressure from society or your culture? Do you fear being rejected or abandoned if you don’t at least appear perfect in this area? Are your feelings of self-worth somehow tied to this desire for perfection?

This internal conversation may be uncomfortable. After all, your answers can reflect foundational beliefs that you’ve based your life around. However, just because you’ve been taught to believe a certain perspective is true, doesn’t automatically mean that it is true or that it’s right for you. 

Challenge your negative beliefs.

Look at them from different perspectives. Ask yourself, ‘If a dear friend was telling me this, what would I say to them?’ And remember, the act of challenging your beliefs doesn’t mean you also have to change those beliefs; you’re simply choosing to look at them from another perspective.

Something that can really help in identifying and challenging your beliefs about perfection is talking to a therapist who specializes in perfectionism. Reaching out for support takes courage, but it can be the tipping point that helps you regain control of your inner peace and balance.

Begin Online Therapy for Perfectionism in Utah

Carrying the weight of the drive for perfectionism can be mentally exhausting and lead to an unfulfilled, unhappy existence. At Inside Wellness, our team of skilled therapists is here to help You overcome this unachievable desire to be perfect in a supportive and non-judgmental environment. You ARE worth it! Follow the steps below to get started.

If you're ready to get started, you can follow these simple steps:

1. Reach out to us about scheduling a free 15-minute phone consultation.

2. Learn more about our counseling services and the members of our team.

3. Get set up with a counselor who is right for you!

Additional Services Offered at Inside Wellness

• Body Image Therapy

• Eating Disorder Therapy

• Anxiety Counseling